Keeping My Dog

[Guest Arielle]

So a while back I posted a thread about my greyhound Ari. Just to refresh on some background info, Ari is four years old (five in May) and I adopted her from a blood donor program back in September. When I first brought her home, she was extremely anxious and would whine and pace through the house for hours on end. Even after a long walk, she would still pace and cry for no apparent reason. Other than that, I have had none of the other issues that seem to be common on here. She has never destroyed anything (other than paper towels) or had a bathroom accident in the house, nor has she exhibited any signs of space aggression or resource guarding. She does have issues with other dogs, but other than that she really is one of the sweetest dogs that I have ever encountered.

 

The pacing and whining didn't let up for a long time, and I thought that it was because I didn't have the time to give her the exercise and attention that she needed due to my hectic schedule as a first-year veterinary student. As much as I love her, after much crying and debating I had decided to try and find a better home for Ari. This was about a week ago.

 

Since then, it seems like my prayers have been answered. Ari is suddenly much calmer. She sleeps for most of the day, and after our afternoon walk, which normally lasts about forty-five minutes, she pretty much passes out on her bed for the rest of the night, leaving me free to study the night away. Even today, when she hasn't had her walk yet, she has been snoozing on her bed since I got home two hours ago. She hardly ever whines anymore.

 

The big question is, should I keep her? I want to so badly, but am not sure that it would be fair to her. My school schedule is going to be absolutely crazy for the next eight weeks, but I am told by upper year students that after that it gets easier and we have a lot more time n our hands. So should I stick it out? I would appreciate any advice anyone has to give, no matter your opinion. Thank you!

[robinw]

Would you give up your dog for eight busy weeks? That's nothing!

[TheFullHouse]

Would i give up any of mine for 8 busy weeks, never. After all what are 8 weeks Compared to a life time of love and companionship.

[Guest happygrey]

I think I remember your earlier posts. I know you had concerns about what others would think if you rehomed her, correct?

 

I really don't know what to suggest...you seem to have been on the fence about her almost since you got her. Will that finally go away after these next 8 weeks?

 

It's really not fair to keep her if you are continually feeling up in the air about your commitment to her. There really shouldn't be any shame in rehoming her if it's not a good fit.

[Guest dee]

I contemplated rehoming Micah when I was diagnosed with breast cancer this past year. I was going to be receiving treatment in another state and we were having all sorts of problems getting help caring for Micah and our two other dogs. I made the call to the rescue group that we hade gotten Micah from and was told that they didn't have anyone who could foster temporarily during my chemo and radiation. I realized when she told me that she could have Micah put up for adoption and that he would be in a crate in aomeones's house for the major part of the day...although well cared for. Since I'm retired, and Micah is used to being uncrated I just felt it would be really stressful since he's shy and skittish. At the end of the day I realized that Micah'shome was with us even though he would not have his usual " perfect life" for a short period of time. He knows, loves and trusts us and we love him. IMHO you would be making a mistake making a long term decision for eight weeks of less than perfect life. By the way, I'm finished with all of my treatments and we all survived! You wouldn't give away your kid if there was a temporary schedule change....so why even think of rehoming a dog you love and take good care of. Good luck in school!!!!

[Guest snakes]

Maybe the coincidence of her calming down was in response to you being more at ease once you finally made the decision to rehome her? They can pick up on some of the most subtle signals that we don't even realize we are giving,

I can only speak from my experience but with all of my own dogs and 3 fosters it takes roughly 3months for a dog to fully settle in and start showing their true selves

Now if you don't have enough time for her long-term, that is a whole other issue that you must consider....

[jaym1]

just ask yourself, and answer yourself honestly: do you want to keep the dog. sometimes we make it hard to listen to what we already know.

 

also, keep in mind, the way we humans generally treat animals, whether theyre dogs, sheep, pigs, deer -- whatever -- is the same as the way we treat objects or commodities. any attention and affection and comfort you are giving to your dog is more than most dogs and most domesticated animals will ever get. this doesnt mean you should do the bare minimum -- far from it. what i am saying though, is just dont let the perfect be the enemy of the good. just because you cant provide 100% perfect care and attention 100% of the time doesnt mean you arent or wont be a perfectly good dog owner.

Edited January 5, 2012 by jaym1

[MaryJane]

 

 

 

Since then, it seems like my prayers have been answered. Ari is suddenly much calmer. She sleeps for most of the day, and after our afternoon walk, which normally lasts about forty-five minutes, she pretty much passes out on her bed for the rest of the night, leaving me free to study the night away. Even today, when she hasn't had her walk yet, she has been snoozing on her bed since I got home two hours ago. She hardly ever whines anymore.

 

 

 

 

I think you've answered your own question.

[Guest mountain4greys]

Time and patience is key when you first get a greyhound. Everything always works out if you have these 2 things.

[Guest sheila]

The thing that stands out in your posts to me is that giving her up always seems to be an option in the back of your mind. That doesn't sit well with me because I think one should go into pet ownership with the idea that this is a 'forever' commitment. You don't sound like you've made that commitment in your own mind. Life sometimes has bumps in the road and the next 8 weeks are nothing compared to the next 8 yrs. Are you ready to commit to 8 yrs no matter what happens? If you get married, have kids, move across the country are you going to consider giving her up then, or are you going to find a way to make it work?

If you can't offer her that 'forever' home as a promise and if giving her up is always going to be an option than giving her up sooner rather than later would be best.

I hope you DON'T give her up though.

[GeorgeofNE]

You have lots and lots of school left. Then residency. I can't imagine it's going to get EASIER and less hectic.

 

If you weren't still tempted to give her up, you wouldn't be asking.

 

I'd say that if it's something you think might be best for her, do it sooner rather than later. The longer she's with you, the harder it will be FOR HER if you do decide it's too much for you.

[Guest PhillyPups]

Okay, the elephant I see sitting here in this post is that you are contemplating giving up your dog due to whining and pacing and you are going to be a VET??? How would you look at one of your patients who their people bounced for the same behavior? Vets work long hours (at least mine do, evenings and Saturdays too), do you think that will make your scenario easier?

 

Personally, if I found my vet returned a pet they made a commitment to, I would change vets, after all if they could not commit to their pet how would they be with mine?? My vets have cried with me when I had to let my one boy go due to cancer, they are gentle, kind and love my dogs, that is why I have them as my vets. They are committed to their patients.

 

I am not meaning to be harsh, it seems it is my writing style, but I am being honest.

 

If you continually flip-flop on keeping her bouncing her, do her a favor and let her find a home where her people are committed to her.

 

Oh, and the obligatory

[Walliered]

When I got my second grey he paced and whined constantly. I thought it was just an "adjustment" period. It was about a week when I got an appointment with my vet. He had a cracked molar and that was why he was pacing and whining. It was pain. Had tooth extracted and he never whined again. Just food for thought.

[JAJ2010]

The first three months with Sunshine I cannot count the number of times I was in tears and so ready to bounce her back to the rescue. Some dogs are harder than others! Lol I've still never met a dog quite like her. I think having second thoughts might be normal. You have to really think hard about the direction your life is going. The dog you have right now will nit be the same dog you will have in 6 months. They change as they settle in and gain more security.

[BatterseaBrindl]

Okay, the elephant I see sitting here in this post is that you are contemplating giving up your dog due to whining and pacing and you are going to be a VET??? How would you look at one of your patients who their people bounced for the same behavior? Vets work long hours (at least mine do, evenings and Saturdays too), do you think that will make your scenario easier?

 

Personally, if I found my vet returned a pet they made a commitment to, I would change vets, after all if they could not commit to their pet how would they be with mine?? My vets have cried with me when I had to let my one boy go due to cancer, they are gentle, kind and love my dogs, that is why I have them as my vets. They are committed to their patients.

 

I am not meaning to be harsh, it seems it is my writing style, but I am being honest.

 

If you continually flip-flop on keeping her bouncing her, do her a favor and let her find a home where her people are committed to her.

 

Oh, and the obligatory

 

Agree with this ...no way would I ever have a vet that could not keep their commitment to a single pet.

 

And... what GeorgeofNE says....you are in for several years of long days and nights.

 

Do what is best for your DOG...not what is best for you.

[gazehund]

I've not followed your posts but I do have a question if I may. What prompted you to adopt a dog knowing you have such a heavy school work load ahead of you for so long? I don't mean that as anything more than a question. I am genuinely curious.

[Guest zombrie]

Would I give my dog up? No, I would figure it out and stick it out.

But only you can answer that question, not us.

[vjgrey]

The thing that stands out in your posts to me is that giving her up always seems to be an option in the back of your mind. That doesn't sit well with me because I think one should go into pet ownership with the idea that this is a 'forever' commitment.

 

This.

 

 

Personally, if I found my vet returned a pet they made a commitment to, I would change vets, after all if they could not commit to their pet how would they be with mine??

 

And also this.

 

If YOU want to return her, I hope you'll do it sooner, rather than later. But I think it's ridiculous to say you're doing it to be "fair to her."

 

My hounds were with me while I went through law school full time (as an honor student), served on law review, worked a paid job AND interned for federal prosecutors. All at once. And they were, and still are, very happy and well-adjusted.

Edited January 5, 2012 by vjgrey

[Guest Arielle]

While I am very grateful for all of the helpful replies, I take extreme offense to the insinuation that I am not fit to be a vet because I am not committed to my dog. I have owned dogs, cats, horses, and goats all my life, and never once have I re-homed one. If I wasn't committed to dogs and animals in general, I wouldn't have signed myself up for four years of hell and $150K in student loans. My uncertainty about keeping Ari stems entirely out of concern for HER. If I thought that her anxiety was something that would go away in time, there would be no doubt in my mind about keeping her. My concern was that it was something that would only be cured with a lot of effort, which I simply do not have time to give right now. If I wasn't committed to her, then I wouldn't have stuck it out for four noisy months and would have re-homed her after the first week.

 

To say that you would not have a vet that re-homed to animal (in other words, one like me) to me seems like a direct insult. I am honestly trying to make the best decision possible for my dog and there is absolutely nothing about insulting me that is helpful. Thank you to those who posted nice, helpful replies.

[Guest PhillyPups]

I would appreciate any advice anyone has to give, no matter your opinion. Thank you!

 

 

And that is what I did, sorry if I was mistaken in the no matter your opinion, but I did give you mine. My feelings are stated honestly. No one said you were not fit to be a vet, you would just be one that I would not use.

[macoduck]

I disagree with the "if my vet returned a pet" part. One of my vets has had several labs, only owning one at a time, and has had poor luck keeping them alive. Knowing the story of each it doesn't discourage me from continuing to see him. He was human enough to share his stories. I don't see him as a failure.

 

I don't have advice for you Arielle. I haven't been in your shoes. My first (and still with us) greyhound, Gracie, made our lives a living hell for months until she finally saw the light (and briefly, medication) and relaxed. She was 2 then. She's nearly 12 now.

[Guest Celestrina]

My concern was that it was something that would only be cured with a lot of effort, which I simply do not have time to give right now.

 

If you aren't able to give the effort, why did you adopt a dog? Any breed will take time and effort.

Edited January 6, 2012 by Celestrina

[jaym1]

i seriously considered giving my dog back. i had researched everything i could find about greyhounds before adopting, but didn't really brush up on SA, and the situation i adopted him from didnt really make it possible to know if he'd be prone to it as an only dog. it was an agonizing time and really, im not completely out of the woods yet. i think of all the work its going to take, all the spare time i dont really have, and all the life uncertainty that might be headed my way on the horizon, and i still sometimes get overwhelmed. but i bonded with my dog instantly when i met him, and as soon as he jumped up and stuck his nose up to the window on the back of his kennel as i was leaving him after our first meeting, it was done. im in it for the long haul, until and unless i am sure i am putting him in a position that is making him irredeemably unhappy. i thought of him back in a kennel by himself, and all the rigors of finding another home again and i couldnt do it. he is already showing improvement, but i am definitely still in that stressful period that many in this thread have referenced.

 

if you truly think you cant give him the home he deserves, or if you just dont want to put in the effort (theres no shame in that), then bring him back. i suspect you know what you want to do in your heart. just follow that.

[celbee]

It really doesn't matter what other people think. But in this case, you did ask for opinions.

 

Many of us (ok, I) spent years ignoring or trying to hide from instincts or pretending that we were not having thoughts that were less than nice... and then a bunch more years trying to learn to listen to those instincts again. You may not always understand your instincts and why you have the feelings that you do. But your subconscious brain is hard at work and it has important messages based on your experiences in life so far.

 

If your instincts are telling you that Ari should be with someone else and not you, there is a reason for it. Contact the adoption group ASAP and arrange for Ari to re-enter foster care-- it's the right thing for her. Your conscious brain will eventually fill in the blanks for you and you WILL figure out what lessons you can learn from what happened. I don't know what those lessons are and I am not going to speculate. But you will figure them out-- promise. And you will be a better vet because of it. If you could have made those thoughts and doubts go away, you would have, right? But they keep nagging at you. I would vote for listening to them.

 

JMO

 

Carol

[Guest IrskasMom]

Please rehome Ari sooner then later . Your Life and Careere is just in the Beginning and very relentless with TIME. You knew this before and why you brought a Dog into this Mix I don't know. I was in your Position at one Time but I refused to have any Animals to care for. It's just not fair.When your Life slows down and has more Regularity a Kitty would be your better choice of Companian. :)

Edited January 6, 2012 by IrskasMom