Update On Lola

[Guest stufts]

Well it's been over 7 months since we've had Lola and her separation anxiety continues. Pooping almost daily at home when left alone--even while on anxiety meds. I've been as patient as possible, but it's getting to the point where I cannot do it anymore ...And of course, Lola must be very stressed out on a daily basis to be continuing this behavior.

 

I've literally tried everything. Got better for a short while, but it's back to bad again

 

I've spoken with reps from her rescue several times. And right now, she is spending time at one of their houses for a week--I took her there on Wednesday. The rep is very experienced with greyhounds and has several staying at her home. The last I checked in a day ago, I was told that Lola was great and hadn't pooped ONCE at home when left alone!

 

This is great news! But only makes my decision harder because, as we suspected, it seems that she needs to live with other dogs or dog. No decision has been made yet, but adding a second dog to our home is not an option for us. So I am leaning towards finding a new family for her--an experienced greyhound family with another dog or dogs.

 

If this is the route we go, I am secretly hoping that the rescue rep will welcome her into her home, since Lola seems to enjoy being there and I KNOW she'd be in good hands!. But if that cannot happen, I want to put out the word to this community.

 

We are in Southern Maine. If any of you lovely greyhound lovers would consider giving Lola a home...or know anyone who might want to meet her--please let me know.

 

This is really difficult as we all love her very much, including my two kids! But we have to do what's best for Lola and for our family.

 

Any comments or thoughts? Thank you for all the advice and warm thoughts!

 

Sandy

[Batmom]

Just some hugs for you and your family.

[cleptogrey]

i would have a heart to heart talk to your rep. lola sounds like she needs to be a second dog and having her best interest in mind, your post reads as if she is much happier in a home w/other dogs. never do anything secretly, be open, voice her needs and your needs-it sounds like you want a happy dog. you have tried for 7 months, that's a good hard try. good luck!

[GeorgeofNE]

If you're even considering it--the sooner the better, for the dog. The adoption group will find her a suitable place. Don't worry about that.

 

Sometimes it doesn't work out. Please don't beat yourself up.

[TheFullHouse]

It sounds like she's happier with other dogs around. Some hounds are just that way.

[Guest MyCody]

We adopted three year old JJ in January and she would not make it if we didn't have Leah. She was terrified of everything and everybody and even at the vets, she would plant herself and wouldn't move until Leah went ahead of her, so sounds like Lola needs the reassurance of another dog, remember they've always been with other greys, so don't feel too badly about it, not your fault.

[Guest ThreeGreys]

My Stacy had extreme SA and once I added a 3rd grey Heather , Stacy's SA ended.

[Wonder]

I've had fosters who could care less about hounds. They just want their human.

Hopefully you can find one that is a fit for your family.

I'm sorry that you have to go through this.

[Guest isntitgreyt]

I had a foster who did great here but when placed as an only dog he destroyed everything in sight. He ripped out the duct work in the house. He was then rehomed with another dog and did great. Some dogs need to have another. You gave it a long, hard try. Don't beat yourself up about it. Some people wouldn't have tried as long as you did. There is another out there that will work well with you and your family.

[Guest stufts]

thank you everyone for your replies and wonderful thoughts!

 

it truly makes me feel better, because i feel like if we do find her a new family, i'm abandoning her

 

but yes, at this point i think she needs another dog or dogs..

 

i'll keep you posted on the final outcome!

 

thanks so much again! it really helped to read all of these replies!!

 

sandy

[Guest Greytluv]

Lola

You're not abandoning her. It's not a good fit. She'll do much better not being so stressed out. That can't be good for her.

You can't live in a situation like that..

[Guest alf7199]

I am so happy to see this post... my boy has had SA that has escalted over the past 6 months, we adopted him in June 2009... a 2nd big dog is not possible for us... we are going to the vet this week for meds and then see what happens... We are all hoping it works and he can stay but we also are slowly coming to terms that if it doesn't then we know it is not a good fit... Sandy, I share with you all the emotions you are going through because it IS very hard... Sending positive hugs to you and your family that all works out for the best for everyone

[Guest IrskasMom]

I Commend you Sandy , for beeing honest and open to this Issue. Hopefully your Group Rep will find a suiting Home for Lola .

[Guest Swifthounds]

[Guest stufts]

Well I talked to the rep today. She recommends sending Lola home to me to see if this "break" has made a difference. I am weary and upset about what is going to happen. She said that Lola is loving hanging out with the puppies that the rep is taking care of right now...So that makes me feel like she needs other dogs around. Lola has not pooped in her house ONCE in a week...to me, that's pretty drastic and says something about her being stressed at my house

 

So I'm picking her up tomorrow to see what happens back at home over the next couple of days. If the pooping continues here, then I think another home it will be. My fear is that if we need to return her to the rescue, how likely is it going to be that someone is going to adopt an 8 year old greyhound with this issue? Hopefully someone seeking another dog will come in and fall in love with her if it comes to that! She really is the sweetest thing ever!

 

But I'll try and think positive and see what happens in the next few days!

 

Keep you posted! And thank you all once again for your support!!

 

Sandy

[Guest alf7199]

There are many, many, many greyhound owners that adopt older dogs and adding one to their current crew is usually something they are looking for OR they just fall in love. When I fostered, I had a 9 year old bounce come stay with me for 8 weeks... she came from a home with another dog and they were seperated upon fostering. She had really bad teeth, two very messed up toes, and several other issues, she ended up having up having 16 teeth removed, a toe amputated, and was on a bunch of medicine. I tried and tried to convince my husband to keep her ... I had the same reasoning you do... once the vet had cleared her she was offically available to adopt. A couple who had adopted from our group before called to inquire about her... we told them everything... they still wanted to meet her and bring their grey to see how they got along. When they came in, she was her normal bouncy self (a great change from when I first got her), they completely fell in love. And I know she is well loved

[Guest happygrey]

Sandy, I just want to say that you are such a good dog owner! I can hear how hard this has been for you, and I think you are absolutely doing the right thing by returning her to your group if she continues to have issues. Please don't be hard on yourself.

 

My fingers are crossed that she does ok when she comes back to you, but if not, then I am glad you have already paved the way to get her into the right situation.

[Guest bigbrindlebunny]

You're really doing what every GH rescue group would want, and more.

[Guest IHeartDogs]

I agree that it is too stressful for her to be alone in your home.

Is there any way you could foster another dog so you won't have the financial burden, but get the benefit for Lola and joy of having another one around while helping out the group?

Maybe you can take Lola back for a short stint with a foster, because most likely being back alone will start her SA again...

 

Good luck with whatever you decide, but I agree with others the sooner the better to figure out if she can stay or needs to find another home.

[Guest stufts]

Well here's another update on Lola.

 

She came back home after her week long stint at the rep's house. Did not poop in the house ONCE there!! Enjoyed being with the other dogs in the home. Soooo....we got her back and adopted another dog to keep her company! We don't have room in the car for another greyhound, so we adopted an 18 month old Boston Terrier, Moses (who is adorable and wonderful, by the way--we are in love with him)!

 

But sadly, a week of having both of the dogs and Lola was still pooping in the house???? Oh my god! I couldn't believe it or take it anymore. I took her up to the rescue and she is there now. I talked to another wonderful rep there for a LONG time and basically the status is this: She will be there for two weeks...he said that sometimes coming back can kind of "re boot" a dog...like re booting a computer in a way!

 

At the end of the two weeks, I can decide if I want to get her and take her home to try, yet again. Or I can decide to let her go and he said he's 100% sure she'll get adopted, even though she's 8...she's so sweet, really!

 

Ugh, this is absolute and complete mental torture to me and I don't know what to do. I change my mind every minute, literally. This rep thinks that it could be that Lola does not see me as the alpha so she is not feeling secure--he said we can try exercises and things to change the nature of our relationship and that can help perhaps. This makes me hopeful! But at the same time, it scares me too--my kids also are very attached and it was hard to say goodbye when I brought her up to the rescue on Saturday. So do I try having her home AGAIN and if it doesn't work, put my kids (and myself and Lola) through this sadness?

 

I want her because I love her, I love greyhounds and I really want to have one in our life! But is it selfish of me to keep putting us all (including Lola) though this?

 

I Don't Know Anymore!!

 

And also, if I do surrender her, will another rescue ever feel good letting me adopt another greyhound at some point, or will they think I'm that person who adopts a dog and ends up giving it back?

 

I'd really like to try again with another grey at some point..not now of course..I need a break!

 

So...that's the latest....a final decision needs to be made very soon.

 

And that's the scoop!

 

Thanks,

Sandy

 

 

 

 

 

I agree that it is too stressful for her to be alone in your home.

Is there any way you could foster another dog so you won't have the financial burden, but get the benefit for Lola and joy of having another one around while helping out the group?

Maybe you can take Lola back for a short stint with a foster, because most likely being back alone will start her SA again...

 

Good luck with whatever you decide, but I agree with others the sooner the better to figure out if she can stay or needs to find another home.

[Guest twhitehouse]

First of all, I know exactly what you are going through. I went through the same torturous decision...do I give my dog back because of separation anxiety? We went through a long 5 months of severe, severe separation anxiety with Lexi BEFORE we started Prozac. After Prozac, we did intense alone training for months with success but Lexi continued to have set backs for up to another year and half.

 

At that point, like you I reached out to the group in Maine (we adopted from the ARL though) and although I appreciated them trying to help....I did not agree with any of their techniques and they were very rude to me because I had adopted Lexi from an all breed shelter. They blamed Lexi's separation anxiety issues on me and my apparent inability to take care of a greyhound because they're different from other dogs. I hung up furious to say the least because not many people have done more research on SA and greyhounds than myself. After going through 2 years of SA with Lexi, I feel I'm pretty experienced in dealing with the issue.

 

With that being said, I somewhat blame your current situation on the group itself. If you had reached out to them early on and let them know of the issues you are having, they should have done more to help you or to rehome the dog earlier....

 

You mentioned that Lola poops while you are gone. Does she show any other signs of anxiety? Does she cry, bark, pace, chew the woodwork by the door or windows? You mentioned she was on mediation...what medication? Are you doing alone training with her? Medication alone won't stop the issue, it's a tool to help the training sink in and work for Lola.

 

Ultimately, if you do decide to give Lola back, I don't think you should feel bad. If you've truly done everything you can, it's probably just not a good match. There are plenty more dogs you could adopt should you consider it and the group will now know that Lola needs to be in a home with other greyhounds.

[robinw]

Oh no, I feel so bad for you! I can't agree with the way your group is handling this. It seems like all they're doing is making your decision even tougher and piling guilt on you. I'm sure your group is aware that some greyhounds need to be around other greyhounds. I can't imagine that they, or another group, wouldn't adopt to you in the future. You've really done a lot for Lola

[Guest happygrey]

Personally, I think this "not seeing you as the alpha" is total hogwash. Nor do I think that returning to your house after a stay at the kennel will "reboot" her. I think it sounds like Lola is missing the company of other greyhounds. Pure and simple. She's one of those "can't be an alone dog." If her problems magically go away when she's left alone with other GHs then I think we have the answer. I'm not sure why the group doesn't see this.

 

I can't imagine why another group wouldn't consider you for another greyhound. You've done way more than many adopters do! Believe me! For everyone 1 super-responsible owner like yourself, there are probably at least 5 lousy ones who'd dump Lola at a pound or put her up on Craigslist to the first taker. And if the group in ME wouldn't consider you, then come down to MA or go to NH.

 

Just be sure that you realize that you will now need a GH who's small dog safe AND ok with being the only GH in the roost! Was the terrier friendly to Lola? I know that terriers can sometimes be a bit feisty.

 

In any case, I am sorry it didn't work out. But know that you did your best for her.

Edited November 17, 2010 by happygrey

[Guest stufts]

Thank you for this response. Yes, Moses, our Boston Terrier and Lola were fine together (for the week that they lived together!). And you're right, if I make another go at adopting at some point, I'll need a greyhound that is good with cats, small dogs, kids and ok with being the only greyhound! A TALL order!! But hopefully we could find a match at some point.

 

I need to make a decision by Saturday and my mind is being literally mentally tortured!!

 

I guess I'm leaning towards not getting her back and hopefully having her be happy in another home. But it's definitely hard to think about that...I know I've done a lot but it still feels like I failed or did something wrong. But the logical party of me is starting to see that it might be best for her, and us, to move on

 

The whole alpha reasoning somewhat makes sense to me, but then again, I've had other dogs that have been fine so obviously I'm not TOO much of a pushover?? This could just be a personality issue between Lola and our environment?

 

Ahh! This is so hard!

 

Thank you to all who responded, it's been helpful.

 

Sandy

 

 

 

Personally, I think this "not seeing you as the alpha" is total hogwash. Nor do I think that returning to your house after a stay at the kennel will "reboot" her. I think it sounds like Lola is missing the company of other greyhounds. Pure and simple. She's one of those "can't be an alone dog." If her problems magically go away when she's left alone with other GHs then I think we have the answer. I'm not sure why the group doesn't see this.

 

I can't imagine why another group wouldn't consider you for another greyhound. You've done way more than many adopters do! Believe me! For everyone 1 super-responsible owner like yourself, there are probably at least 5 lousy ones who'd dump Lola at a pound or put her up on Craigslist to the first taker. And if the group in ME wouldn't consider you, then come down to MA or go to NH.

 

Just be sure that you realize that you will now need a GH who's small dog safe AND ok with being the only GH in the roost! Was the terrier friendly to Lola? I know that terriers can sometimes be a bit feisty.

 

In any case, I am sorry it didn't work out. But know that you did your best for her.

[Guest kydie]

You need to do what is best for the dog,, even though your heart will break,, there is no doubt you love her,,, no one here thinks otherwise. Living with a pack I can pick out which ones would do will alone,,, and those that need the pack. Hugs to you and your family and Miss Lola