Help!

[Guest cwholsin]

My wife and I adopted a rescue greyhound on August 15th of this year. Hermes is 3 years old, healthy, and has a low prey drive, so he is friendly with all other dogs, large and small, as well as our cats and visitors. The trouble is that he seems indifferent to us and to living here. He does not ask for affection, does not seem to respond to praise, and does not try and play with us. There is a toy that he loves that we can get his attention with, a squeaky jackalope-type toy, but that's about it. He responds to food and to his favorite toy, but does not seem to want our attention at all and will only come over to us if we ask him to (and sometimes not even then). He has gotten used to the house and to his routine, we work with him on commands twice a day and my wife is home with him all day, so he is definitely getting the attention he needs. We also give him plenty of exercise, so as far as we can tell he's been getting everything he needs, but he remains very aloof and doesn't even wag his tail at us. What can we do to strengthen our bond with him and get him to loosen up and ask for our affection?? Is this symptomatic of this not being the best home for him? How much can a greyhound's personality change after he/she has adjusted to a new home? We are worried that he will remain this way, and continue to be unhappy in his new home. Help! We want Hermes to be happy, and we also want a dog who loves to be with us. Right now he does not seem to be happy, and he seems indifferent towards us. We know Greyhounds are supposed to be quiet couch potatoes; we just want him to ask for affection from us, and instead he appears to be emotionally distant. What can we do?

[JAJ2010]

Just give him some time. He's had tons of life changes in the past few months and honestly in 6 more months you won't even recognize the dog you have! Rainy was like that when I brought her home. It took 7 months of torture to get her to jump up on the big bed with me. and 11 months to get her on a couch.

 

Last night I just asked her to jump up on a stump at the park. 2 years ago was the last time I asked her to do that and she shook like a leaf while I had to lift each paw up. This time she hopped right up and was very prancy and proud of herself.

 

It just takes longer for some to settle in. Give him some space and just be there with happy positive things. He's probably still waiting to see when he is leaving and going to the next place.

 

And CONGRATS on your new family member!

Edited September 30, 2010 by JAJ2010

[Guest TBSFlame]

August 15 of this year? He is not even settled in yet. Give the poor boy some time.

[djsgreys]

It really does take 4-6 months for a grey to settle in. Then you will be rewarded with a new dog everyday. In the meantime, from what you have posted here, it does not sound to me like Hermes is at all unhappy and is getting what he needs in your home. He just needs more time to fully adjust to this huge change in his life.

 

I often get phone calls or emails from new adotpers with the same concerns. Where did you adopt from? Can you call your adoption rep and discuss if you are really concernec?

[Hawthorn]

Absolutely give him more time. When I adopted my first greyhound 16 years ago (knowing very little about greyhounds), I went through the same thing. For the first three months Charlie was so aloof I really thought I'd made a big mistake in getting him. Six months later I thought he was the best dog ever!

[Guest Tes623]

When we first adopted Scarlett she was our only dog and spent most of her time sleeping in our guest room. One night when my husband came home and asked were she was and I said she's been in the guest room since I had been home and said, "Sure is nice having a dog in the house again." :lol It took her several months for her to actually start acting like she liked us. Give your boy time--he will come around.

[gazehund]

Drop the "commands" for a while and give him some time and space. Hounds in general

are a more aloof, independent breed.

One more time, from your dog's perspective. What his new life is like for him.

Credit Ms. Kathleen Gilley.

 

Of all breeds of dogs, the ex-racing Greyhound has never had to be responsible for anything in his life. His whole existence has been a dog-centered one. This breed has never been asked to do anything for itself, make any decisions or answer any questions. It has been waited on, paw and tail. The only prohibition in a racing

Greyhound's life is not to get into a fight----------------or eat certain stuff in the turn out pen.

 

Let us review a little. From weaning until you go away for schooling, at probably a year and a half, you eat, grow and run around with your siblings. When you go away to begin your racing career, you get your own "apartment," in a large housing development. No one is allowed in your bed but you, and when you are in there, no one can touch you, without plenty of warning.

 

Someone hears a vehicle drive up, or the kennel door being unlocked. The light switches are flipped on. The loud mouths in residence, and there always are some, begin to bark or howl. You are wide awake by the time the human opens your door to turn you out. A Greyhound has never been touched while he was asleep.

 

You eat when you are fed, usually on a strict schedule. No one asks if you are hungry or what you want to eat. You are never told not to eat any food within your reach. No one ever touches your bowl while you are eating. You are not to be disturbed because it is important you clean your plate.

 

You are not asked if you have to "go outside." You are placed in a turn out pen and it isn't long before you get the idea of what you are supposed to do while you are out there. Unless you really get out of hand, you may chase, rough house and put your feet on everyone and every thing else. The only humans you know are the "waiters" who feed you, and the "restroom attendants" who turn you out to go to the bathroom. Respect people? Surely you jest.

 

No one comes into or goes out of your kennel without your knowledge. You are all seeing; all knowing. There are no surprises, day in and day out. The only thing it is ever hoped you will do is win, place or show, and that you don't have much control over. It is in your blood, it is in your heart, it is in your fate-- or it is not.

 

And when it is not, then suddenly you are expected to be a civilized person in a fur coat. But people don't realize you may not even speak English. Some of you don't even know your names, because you didn't need to. You were not asked or told to do anything as an individual; you were always part of the "condo association?; the sorority or fraternity and everyone did everything together, as a group or pack. The only time you did anything as an individual is when you schooled or raced, and even then, You Were Not Alone.

 

In my "mobile abode," the Greyhounds each have several unique names, but they also have a single common name: it is Everybody. We continue to do things as a group, pack or as we are affectionately known in-house, by Kathleen's Husbandit, "The Thundering Herd."

 

Back to those who have not been permanently homed. Suddenly, he is expected to behave himself in places he's never been taught how to act. He is expected to take responsibility for saying when he needs to go outside, to come when he is called, not to get on some or all of the furniture, and to not eat food off counters and tables. He is dropped in a world that is not his, and totally without warning, at that.

 

Almost everything he does is wrong. Suddenly he is a minority. Now he is just a pet. He is unemployed, in a place where people expect him to know the rules and the schedule, even when there aren't any. (How many times have you heard someone say, "He won't tell me when he has to go out." What kind of schedule is that?) Have you heard the joke about the dog who says, "My name is No-No Bad Dog. What's yours?" To me that is not even funny. All the protective barriers are gone. There is no more warning before something happens. There is no more strength in numbers. He wakes up with a monster human face two inches from his. (With some people's breath, this could scare Godzilla.) Why should he not, believe that this "someone," who has crept up on him, isn't going to eat him for lunch? (I really do have to ask you ladies to consider how you would react if someone you barely knew crawled up on you while you were asleep?) No, I will not ask for any male input.

 

Now he is left alone, for the first time in his life, in a strange place, with no idea of what will happen or how long it will be before someone comes to him again. If he is not crated, he may go though walls, windows or over fences, desperately seeking something familiar, something with which to reconnect his life. If he does get free, he will find the familiarity, within himself: the adrenaline high, the wind in his ears, the blood pulsing and racing though his heart once again--until he crashes into a car.

 

Often, the first contact with his new family is punishment, something he's never had before, something he doesn't understand now, especially in the middle of the rest of the chaos. And worst of all, what are the most common human reactions to misbehavior? We live in a violent society, where the answer to any irritation is a slap, punch, kick, whip, or rub your nose in it. Under these circumstances, sometimes I think any successful adoption is a miracle.

 

He is, in effect, expected to have all the manners of at least a six-year old child. But, how many of you would leave an unfamiliar six-year old human alone and loose in your home for hours at a time and not expect to find who knows what when you got back? Consider that if you did, you could be brought up on charges of child abuse, neglect and endangerment. Yet, people do this to Greyhounds and this is often the reason for so many returns.

 

How many dogs have been returned because they did not know how to tell the adoptor when they had to go out? How many for jumping on people, getting on furniture, counter surfing, separation anxiety, or defensive actions due to being startled or hurt (aka growling or biting)? So, let's understand: Sometimes it is the dog's "fault" he cannot fit in. He is not equipped with the social skills of a six-year old human. But with your love and help, you can make it happen.

 

 

[OwnedBySummer]

I'm with everyone else! I have dog experience but Summer is my first greyhound. Although SHE chose ME (god, I love that!), it took a couple of months until her personality really came through. Every week now, I see changes. For me, the best one is that she'll now sleep at the TOP of the bed, where I've always wanted her. And that only happened in the past couple of weeks! So be patient, the changes will come! Oh, and another really really wonderful thing... she'll come to me out of a pack of greyhounds if I call her!

 

I love my houndie! Just give them time.

Edited September 30, 2010 by OwnedBySummer

[jenn8]

It sounds like Hermes is adjusting quite well actually. You and your wife are doing a great job. The best is yet to come. You will see his personality emerge in time and any quirks will just seem so adorable. I'll bet he turns into a momma's boy. We love them!

 

Jenn

[robinw]

As everybody else has said, it takes a while. I thought Phoenix hated me for the longest time because I was used to lab type dogs. I think your guy is doing great and just needs a bit of time and patience. Like jenn8 posted, it's lots of fun to watch your hound's personality emerge and in a year, he'll be a completely different dog .

[Yamaha_gurl]

My bf has had greyhound pretty much all his life, he had one ironically named "Maggie" who would just lay around, not really play, she was just there. He was told to add another grey, he did...and that's when they knew Maggie wasn't broken! lol Perhaps she needs a grey friend?

[Wonder]

Sparks never wanted my attention until he got older. I had him at age 4 and he's 12.5 now and very needy

[Guest sheila]

like everyone else has said, give him some more time. I would also say maybe give him some space and try not to hover over him (if you are).

The first 9 mos I had my boy Kiowa he was hung down and brung down (he had been abused) but once that fog cleared he was a goofy silly and happy boy.

Natasha was billed as a 'dog who doesn't like men'. Turned out that Natasha was actually a coy little flirt who charmed every man she met that was patient with her. She was my little princess who expected to be spoken to softly and wanted her treats served on cut crystal.

Billy came to me as being 'painfully shy' according to the group. Billy lied to the group. After a few months of new dog jitters he is a total HAM.

Sammy was a gal that always had an independent spirit and wasn't demonstrative with her affection often, but there were times when she would sneak up onto the couch and lay her head in my lap and fall asleep. It always had to be on her terms.

I had one dog, X, that was always well behaved around me and willing to accept affection but he never sought it out. He was kind of a loner and after awhile I just accepted that is how he was.

[Guest Duke]

Just adding my two cents: I adopted Duke February 4^th of this year coming up on 8 months and I see more and more of his “true self” coming out. He even trots over happily to other people that he knows which I never saw before. He is without a doubt an affectionate boy, he doesn’t necessarily come when I call him but he lets me love on him all the time. Best thing I ever did was to bring him into my life!

[Guest mbfilby]

Our Mickey bounced into our home like she was always a part of the family. Cy has been with us for 13 months now and is still evolving. It took him about 3 months to really warm up to us, and another couple of months after that to ask for attention from us.

 

It is very common for new adopters to feel dejected and second guess their hounds happiness to be in their home. As everyone else said, just give it time. Some day you will remember back to when your grey didn't constantly follow you around the house..

[Trihounds]

There is another echo in here.

 

Some may take 6 months to show their true colors - really. Carry on like you have as you are doing a great and bit by bit, a gooffy / silly / affectionate side of Hermes will come out. And you'll have fun watching his personality emerge. I've got an aloof dog, by the way, and he is the biggest clown. Doesn't "need" me, except when he wants something and then nothing else in his world matters. Once he's got it, it's back to being a typical greyhound. Enjoy the journey!

[GeorgeofNE]

It took my dog over a year to turn into who he really is--however, he does NOT play. Wild times with toys for George means 5 seconds every two weeks. I have a HUGE box of toys, chew bones, etc. All just sitting there in a wooden box. It is what it is!

 

He's affectionate, but only in a quite "let me snuggle next to you" way. He doesn't give kisses. He does smile, and he does get WILDLY excited when I get home, but Greyhounds are VERY different from dogs like Golden Retrievers and the more common family pets. The come in lots of different levels of activity, etc., and some of them don't really do much but sleep. Some of them are very active and love to be right in the middle of things.

 

Your hound will most likely evolve, but I hope you're willing to accept whoever he becomes!

[Trihounds]

It took my dog over a year to turn into who he really is--however, he does NOT play. Wild times with toys for George means 5 seconds every two weeks. I have a HUGE box of toys, chew bones, etc. All just sitting there in a wooden box. It is what it is!

 

He's affectionate, but only in a quite "let me snuggle next to you" way. He doesn't give kisses. He does smile, and he does get WILDLY excited when I get home, but Greyhounds are VERY different from dogs like Golden Retrievers and the more common family pets. The come in lots of different levels of activity, etc., and some of them don't really do much but sleep. Some of them are very active and love to be right in the middle of things.

 

Your hound will most likely evolve, but I hope you're willing to accept whoever he becomes!

 

But apparently George comes out of his shell for Foxymom's Peanut...they are in love but distance separates them. My boys are happy to fill in for George, though!

[DesiRayMom]

Here's another agreement with everyone else. I've had DesiRay for 6 months, and it's just been the past month or so that I feel like HE feels like he really belongs to me. Before, it was just exactly like he was waiting to see where he would be taken next.

He's finally excited to see me....he just did his first butt-tuck zoomie 2 weeks ago.

 

Please be patient & just love him as he is......and as he will be.

[GeorgeofNE]

It took my dog over a year to turn into who he really is--however, he does NOT play. Wild times with toys for George means 5 seconds every two weeks. I have a HUGE box of toys, chew bones, etc. All just sitting there in a wooden box. It is what it is!

 

He's affectionate, but only in a quite "let me snuggle next to you" way. He doesn't give kisses. He does smile, and he does get WILDLY excited when I get home, but Greyhounds are VERY different from dogs like Golden Retrievers and the more common family pets. The come in lots of different levels of activity, etc., and some of them don't really do much but sleep. Some of them are very active and love to be right in the middle of things.

 

Your hound will most likely evolve, but I hope you're willing to accept whoever he becomes!

 

But apparently George comes out of his shell for Foxymom's Peanut...they are in love but distance separates them. My boys are happy to fill in for George, though!

 

:rofl

 

No thread hijacks!!!!

[mychip1]

Ditto....When we brought EZ in, we had our beautiful bridge Beagle Lily. But when Jack came along, EZ was living in upstate NY with my husband who is stationed there and visits occasionally - so Jack was an only dog. It took him about two or three months to realize that he didn't have to "crate" himself in the kitchen. He treated that room like it was his safe haven - to the point that the first few nights I slept on the kitchen floor with him. I routinely would ask my husband when he was home if he thought Jack was happy - and to make it worse, I brought him by to visit the kennel and his friends up there at an event - and he acted like he didn't want to come home. By the time he passed on (less than two years later), he had become my partner, my shadow - and my home was totally empty without him. Your baby Hermes will come out of his shell. He just knows no other life than kennel life which is filled with other dogs and, as others have said, a clear routine - which provides some measure of safety in the dog's mind. Good luck and stick with Hermes. It will be worth it. There is something about the greys.....they just grab your heart and hold it - and your baby will do just that.

[Guest dee]

Hate to sound repetitious but with time you will be so amazed to see your dog's personality emerge. He might not be the most affectionate but there are so many ways that they show they care. We fostered Micah in February of 2010 and he was spooky and shy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Micah was a shy, spooky foster in Feb. of this year and for some crazy reason we decided to adopt him. Have to admit we did, on several occasions, think that perhaps our home was not the best one for him because he looked so sad and unhappy. Time made the miracle happen though. It's almost a daily thing for either my husband or myself to see something new and funny or cute or sweet happening with Micah. He sure doesn't look depressed anymore!! I'm certainly not the most experienced greyhound person here but I know that time, patience and tons of loving encouragement can make a greyt dog not be afraid to show himself. Good Luck with your new boy and I hope you end up loving him as much as we love Micah!!

 

Sorry about that last post....it disappeared, I wrote another and then it came back again!...sorry

[Guest buttonwillow]

We adopted Josie in early July and just now her personality is starting to show. For a long time she was baffled by everything I think, and uncertain. She is still the sweet dog she was when she came home but now she is becoming more playful and confident with us. She is comfortable enough to get up on the bed on her own (we had to lift her up for until about last week) and she solicits play from me now on our walks. It's so much fun.

[Guest cwholsin]

Thank you for all the helpful advice!

 

We brought Hermes home expecting an adjustment period, and were a little put out that he adapted to all the physical realities of the household but didn't come out of his shell. I wish we had been given a briefing on the emotional adjustment period which, as you guys have reported pretty much across the board, can last months!

 

We're relieved to find out that the aloofness of our dog is pretty 'normal' and that we haven't been the only new greyhound parents to feel worried and a little put out by the unexpected detachment! We just want Hermes to be happy!

 

Meg & Curt

[OwnedBySummer]

You'll get there, just takes time. But now you know you have some real good stuff to look forward to!