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Is It Bad To Bring A New Dog Home While Dh Out Of Town?


Guest avadogner
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Guest avadogner

Hi everyone,

 

I was delighted to find a message in my email today saying Augie "Super C Choctaw" is ready to come home. He did great with his "big snip" and is recovered enough to come to his new home. I am ready to get him NOW but the DH is leaving for a trip Thurs to Sunday evening. He's worried that Augie will latch on to me and not bond with him. I know it sounds a bit overdramatic but our 1st grey, Ava has been an only child for 8 years. They played nice on their intro/play dates but he wants to make sure Augie bonds with both of us. We are unable to have kids or adopt because I am awaiting a kidney transplant. He would be crushed to come home and be invisible to Augie. I reminded him that Ava didn't leave her crate for the first few days and he may be the same way. What do you all think? I've got the crate set up, beds and blankets, and the house ready for him. Am I mean to deprive the DH of the initial bonding time?

 

Thanks!

Ava and Augie's mum

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Guest FastDogsOwnMe

Will they hold him for you?

 

My poor DH is definitely invisible to our dogs to a large degree when I am around, but ironically enough the dog who spent the first 11 years of his life with me only loves DH the most of all the dogs!

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I vote to wait until your DH is home. Even if you were to put DH-smelling clothes in the crate, it's just not the same thing as watching your new boy take his first steps into your home.

 

If you did bring him home while DH was gone and they didn't bond, wouldn't you wonder, what if I'd waited?

 

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Guest KennelMom

if a dog wants to latch on to someone, they're going to regardless of whether they are there when the dog spends their first few days home. Granted, you will have an edge in the beginning, but the dog is there for the long haul. I do think, though, that if it will make your hubby feel better it's worth waiting. Better to not have any resentment or negative feelings surrounding a new family member coming home :)

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I have the attention span of a gnat and a similar patience level so I'd go get him, but that is just me. Feel free to listen to the voices of reason saying to wait.

 

I don't see why he and your husband can't have an initial bonding experience of their own when he gets back. Augie surely had a bond with his caretakers on the farm, his trainer and the kennel help. That didn't mean he couldn't develop a bond with his foster Mom and/or Dad. Now you will show up in his life as the next person he can bond with. Then your husband shows up and they can bond. I don't see how those things are mutually exclusive. Lots of people have come in and out of his life just by him being a grey. I don't see how 4 days is going to be a dealbreaker in the long run.

 

When my fosters Mom gets back from Iraq he will have lived with me twice as long as he has lived with her. Do I think he'll be more bonded to me than her? Nope -- I think he'll just be a happy boy to have two people that love him.

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When my fosters Mom gets back from Iraq he will have lived with me twice as long as he has lived with her. Do I think he'll be more bonded to me than her? Nope -- I think he'll just be a happy boy to have two people that love him.

 

This!

 

I'm not patient, I'd go get him now. Time to come home!

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Guest shannon252

I agree with Heather. The dog will prefer who he prefers no matter who is in the house when he comes home. My female of 9 years ALWAYS preferred my dad over me and she never lived with him at all.

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Guest Swifthounds

if a dog wants to latch on to someone, they're going to regardless of whether they are there when the dog spends their first few days home. Granted, you will have an edge in the beginning, but the dog is there for the long haul. I do think, though, that if it will make your hubby feel better it's worth waiting. Better to not have any resentment or negative feelings surrounding a new family member coming home :)

:nod

 

Greyhounds aren't like baby birds. They don't imprint and bond based on sight. If they did, neither of you would measure up to the kennel trainer or the farm handler.

 

Dog will bond to whomever they choose. There are things you can do to foster that bond, but they will always bond more closely with one person, though some are more discrete about it. Either way, it's not a case of whomever gets there first wins.

 

All of my hounds have bonded to varying degrees to my mom and to my so. Still, I'm the boss, and they'd choose me. For the first 4 years he was with us, Comet was bonded only to me. I understood his quirks and fears and we were working through them. In 2005 I had to be away for an entire summer and he and my mom spent a lot of time together. It was rough on both at first, but now they're very tightly bonded.

 

 

I'm not a patient person either when it comes to hounds, so I probably wouldn't wait. They will bond if they're both open to it and they both put energy into it - now or later.

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Guest PhillyPups

My take is that your hubby wants to be theren cause I am sure your pup will be happy to have its own bed. :lol

 

And the flip side is anything can happen in the 4 days, not thinking the worst case sçenario, but it could happen, and he would never know his true home.

 

The big question in my mind is are you strong enough to handle him for walking ortake care of an altercation (should one arise) alone? If not, then wait.

 

Your call. :lol

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He's worried that Augie will latch on to me and not bond with him.

By that reasoning, Augie would attach only to his trainer but not to you. Greyhounds are not like that. Like others have said, he'll bond with whoever he wants regardless of timing.

 

BUT, if bringing him home early is going to cause any animosity between you and your DH, it's probably better to wait. The dog will pick up on that.

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Guest avadogner

HI,

Thank you for all the great advice. We are going to wait for the DH to be home so he can see all the firsts and be ref is anything happens. I'm pretty puny from the kidney failure and may need his help. I feel like if I bring him alone, something would happen and if I wait all will be cool. I know not the most positive thinking but when you wait 3 years for a new kidney, you plan for worst case scenarios. I've been busy getting all the new stuff set up and eagerly awaiting Augie.

Thanks again,

ava and augie's mum

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Guest Swifthounds

Wow. 6 YEARS? That's a long time for a liver. Kidneys an other organs can be tough, but usually with liver they're just transplanting a portion. It's easier to talk someone into giving that which will grow back. I'd do it in a heart beat.

 

Good reminder for everyone to sign up to be an organ donor.

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Yep. Six years.

 

Actually with her very agressive approach to healthy eating etc. for several years she was moving down the transplant list -- others were far sicker than she was. However, she is now 66 years old and I think has resigned herself to the fact she will probably never get a transplant so she is becoming more liberal in her approach to sodium. She won't drink but a cookie with 200 mg of sodium that she would have run screaming from 5 years ago is OK treat once in a while in her book. She may start moving back up the list -- who knows?

 

OP -- my ex- neighbor waited about 2 1/2 years for his kidney and went by private donated jet from Texas to Oregon to get his transplant. That was about 4 months ago and he is doing better than anyone ever expected. Hope the same holds true for you.

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I'd go get him.

 

 

 

 

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i prob couldn't wait either :lol just have dh feed him all the meals cause lot of the time the dog clings to the one who feeds him..gl let us know

 

by the way..dh feeds one meal i feed the other..one time we wanted to know who lexie liked more..( i know sooo wrong)) anyway we both stood equally apart and called her...AND waht did she do???

she walked right down the middle of us....she is a smart one our baby girl :lol

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Guest bigbrindlebunny

Oh, I think you should wait. Whether you agree with him or not may be irrelevant, it might hurt him to ignore this request of the heart. You might make the same one if your positions were reversed. It doesn't sound like he's asking you to wait very long.

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