New Behavior - Growling At Dh

[sarabz]

DH was patting Bella earlier (in the bedroom, I was in the living room) and he said she growled at him. I honestly forgot about it until now - all three of us are on the sofa, both patting her and she growled at him again. Really curious about this. He wasn't doing anything he doesn't normally do, nothing seems to be sore or bothering her, and he's been patting her since and she's been fine. Weird. Any thoughts?

[Guest Fluffy]

Is it possible it was a groan? According to my adoption lady, greys sometimes "groan" when they're experiencing super pleasure (she gets her dogs to do it by giving them vigorous ear rubs). To me, it sounded like a growl when I heard her dog do it, but hey, she knows a whole lot more than me about these guys.

[Guest Furmom]

might it be a case of too much too soon? They need to earn the place in the family.

[greysmom]

It could be he encroached a little bit too much on her space (she has some issues that way, yes?). My sleep aggressive girl would growl sometimes of someone walked by in another room, so I wouldn't be surprised if space was the issue with her this time.

 

On the other hand, an eargasm does sound quite a bit like a growl. Sort of a low, throaty moaning sound back in the throat. It can happen when they are particularly happy - and especially when you're rubbing their ears. My four will press their heads down even harder on your hand and moan for as long as you'll rub!

 

If she is - really - growling, then you have a completely different issue. Some greys take a while to warm up to men, and you both may need to give her some more time and patience.

 

If this is more systemic and you think Bella is trying to protect you or be a higher player in the pack than your BF, you need to do this: from now on, as much as possible, he should take over Bella's care; he should let her out or walk her for potties; he should be the one to reward her with treats, he should be the one to feed her (by hand, kernel by kernel if possible) so that she comes to associate him with all good things. He needs to routinely carry around treats in his pockets and should reward her for good behavior *with him.*

 

But I would say again that she's still very new and it can takes literally months or years for some greys to settle into home life. Try not to take her every little vocalization to heart. Discipline her when necessary and establish rules of the house. Set boundaries and be super consistent with enforcing them. Greys thrive on routine and rules and they need them.

 

Time and patience. Patience and time.

[sarabz]

Thanks for the thoughts - will keep an eye out (ear?) to see if it happens again and what the circumstances are.

 

Later that evening we did get our first groan/moan over ear rubs and there was a definite difference. Maybe she was just working up to that

[Guest krohe]

My Scoop will sometimes do a low growl when I lean over to kiss him goodnight (after the obligatory bedtime lullaby!)

 

My thought is that he is already half asleep and my attempt to kiss him is disturbing his almost slumber!

 

I was alarmed the first time it happened. Now I understand my grumpy man a little better!

[RobinM]

My Scoop will sometimes do a low growl when I lean over to kiss him goodnight (after the obligatory bedtime lullaby!)

 

My thought is that he is already half asleep and my attempt to kiss him is disturbing his almost slumber!

 

I was alarmed the first time it happened. Now I understand my grumpy man a little better!

 

 

be very careful with that leaning over and kissing routine... I did that to Teddy not too long after I adopted him (maybe 9 months) and I was lunged at, got bit in 2 places on my face, came close to losing my eye, and required 8 stitches in my face.

 

Totally my fault for sticking my face where it didn't belong! Just saying...

[Xan]

What RobinM said. It can take a lot longer than you might think for these guys to learn what seems obvious to us: Zooming in face first means affection is coming, not an attack! It just takes how long it takes, too. Proceed with caution. We learned that with Brilly (though not quite so spectacularly!), our first grey.

 

On another note, if growling happened while she was on the couch, I'd say it's too soon for her to be on the couch, at least when humans are there. If she gets started off thinking the couch is hers, and she can say what happens there, it will be harder to un-do that learning, and it might well be dangerous. Same goes for the human's bed.

 

Another question is more about possible word choice confusion. Is your husband "patting" as in, pat-pat-pat, or "petting" as in stroke, rub, stroke, scratch, massage? Patting might not be so enjoyable, peaceful, relaxing, and maybe she was getting irritated.