How Can I Ease Henry's Grieving?

[Guest EmilyAnne]

Short of getting another dog, is there anything I can do to help Henry? He is so lost without Riley who passed on Jan. 27th. I know adopting another grey would help tremendously, but that would be terribly irresponsible of me to adopt another grey right now as I am totally at the wrong time in my life. Henry just seems so lost without Riley. They were like this ---> They fit together so well. I am trying to keep our routine the same as much as possible, hoping this is a comfort. My boyfriend has two dogs, but they are too rough and Henry gets confused by their fast excitable pace. (they are chesespeake bay retrievers, need I say more?)

 

Does it just take time? How long did it take your dog to get over a significant loss? Henry essentially lost his entire canine pack by losing Riley. Any ideas at all on how to ease his pain?

[Guest KennelMom]

He's probably picking up on a lot of your sadness and anxiety over the loss of Riley. The best way to help him through his grief, is to work through yours and have a more positive energy.

 

Much easier said than done. That's a path I've walked down to many times already

[Guest EmilyAnne]

Yes, definately much easier said than done. I try to cry in private away from Henry, but it is hard to be the upbeat person he probably needs right now. I wonder if an obedience class for seniors would be enjoyable for him? Do you think they would be gentle enough for him? He has some brain damage from having too many grand mal seizures, and he tends to overreact to stimuli, so not sure?

[Guest Mom2Shiloh]

Short of getting another dog, is there anything I can do to help Henry? He is so lost without Riley who passed on Jan. 27th. I know adopting another grey would help tremendously, but that would be terribly irresponsible of me to adopt another grey right now as I am totally at the wrong time in my life. Henry just seems so lost without Riley. They were like this ---> They fit together so well. I am trying to keep our routine the same as much as possible, hoping this is a comfort. My boyfriend has two dogs, but they are too rough and Henry gets confused by their fast excitable pace. (they are chesespeake bay retrievers, need I say more?)

 

Does it just take time? How long did it take your dog to get over a significant loss? Henry essentially lost his entire canine pack by losing Riley. Any ideas at all on how to ease his pain?

 

I'm sorry it's not a good time for you to adopt another grey because frankly, that's the only thing I've found that helps. In part because being "packless" is such a strange condition for them.. they are with their littermates, normally, Much longer than most other breeds and then are with other Greyhounds their entire lives. (And you're right.. Chesapeake Bay Retrievers are not good matches for most Greyhounds, I actually avoid them. Aren't I breed-prejudiced.)

 

I'd suggest seeing if there are other greyhound people nearby so you and Henry could socialize with them... but frankly, playdates are not going to make up for lost housemates. Would it be easier for you to foster someone from your group... someone that Henry himself "selects". That would keep you from having full responsibility for another dog right now but still put someone in the house that Henry could relate to. I would definitely not try to force any socialization with the Chessies as that seems to me to just be a way to make things worse. I wish I'd heard of an easy fix, but I haven't. I probably would find it easier financially to have just 2, but with track closings and people losing jobs and our own loss of 3 dogs last year I've found that bringing my pack back up to 4 makes them happier, and that's what it's all about for me. Good luck. Maybe someone else will have some other ideas.

[TheFullHouse]

Are there any greyhounds around you that you could set up play dates? I know Andy mourned Emmy's loss something awful, probably more than I realized since he crossed the bridge so shortly after she passed. I think I'd try to find someone with a breed more to Henry's liking to interact with.

 

I know how hard it is to remain upbeat but I think that might help also.

[Guest Smiley]

We are facing the same issue. This is the first time in her life that Peanut has not had a canine companion. We plan to adopt again, but need more time to mourn Smiley. To make it even more complicated, Peanut is very fussy and it has to be the right dog. Even taking her to greyhound m-n-g's can end up an issue. So we too are not sure what to do. As it warms up I imagine we'll seek out some other greyhound folks for some walks to give her some socialization. I feel for you-we are in the same boat.

[Guest PhillyPups]

When I lost Runner quite suddenly at a young age, SugarBear almost died of mourning. I brought Stepper home, and she ate for the first time since her last meal with Runner.

[Guest Greyt_dog_lover]

I would say the foster thing as well, of course that depends on you and your situation. Above all, take care of yourself, your loss is great, do not forget to heal yourself during this time.

 

Chad

[greysmom]

A class is a good idea - something for the two of you to do together that's fun and helps keep you both focused on something else for a few minutes. Do your research to find a class/teacher that is both low-key enough for Henry and flexible in case he has problems. Or get a good training book and try it at home.

 

If a class doesn't work out, try taking him for more walks, out to the pet store, in the car to the hamburger place - engage him mentally and physically as he can handle it. Make some "me-n-Henry" time every day. If you have the space you could try getting/making some inexpensive agility equipment - a jumping bar and weave poles maybe - and just let him see how he does learning that.

 

It took Dude and Copper more than six months to stop grieving when we lost Libby. They had Cash, but a loss is a loss and they have their own time table to grieve just like people do. I hope you both start feeling better.

[lflaherty45]

This sounds so familiar. Isis and Clark were buddies, playing and running in the yard. When he passed and although she still had Thor as a companion she went into a very deep mourning period.

 

A very wise person told me not to hide my grief and when I cried for him, not to hide from her but to invite her into my arms and cry with her. Then remember the good times they had together and to

laugh and to let her know it was okay to miss them. When I did this, instead of crying to myself in the bathroom, it really seemed to help her. Include them in the griveing process. It helped Isis

I hope it helps you and Henry a little.

[silverfish]

I agree with Mom2Shiloh. I've found the only thing that worked for mine was getting another dog. I wasn't ready for months after we lost Jim, and Renie became so depressed she was like an automaton. She ate, she went out, she walked with me, she did her therapy work, but there was no joy, no animation in her. She was in deep mourning. As soon as she met Jack and we brought him home she began to recover, and within a week the spring was back in her step and her sassiness returned. It was funny, actually, because when we took her in to meet him, she growled at ALL the other dogs, indiscriminately. She sat in a corner. It was almost as if she was saying 'Go away. the lot of you - you're not Jim!' But it woke her up, and she accepted Jack pretty easily, and loved him dearly. She became his protector - whether he wanted protecting or not.

 

I do understand the 'not the right time in your life' thing. But maybe, as others have said, you could foster?

[Guest SusanP]

Can you spend more one-on-one time with him doing special things like outings to the park? I wonder if Riley was his buffer against the Chesapeakes, too, to some degree--he felt he had someone on his team. Make sure he has plenty of time away from the rougher dogs and a place to go to get away from them. Spend more happy time with him to help him get through this--long walks would be my first idea, maybe out in a nice, natural area like a woods. Being out in nature can help you both heal. Even if you got another hound, it wouldn't be Riley, and Henry would know the difference.

 

Edited to add that I'm so sorry to hear that Riley passed away.

Edited February 14, 2010 by SusanP

[cleptogrey]

we lost emily on jan 2nd, our other grey, felix was with her since he was 7 weeks old(he is now 3). so, i know what you and your pup are going thru. i am not quite ready to get another dog so we have been fostering. felix doesn't seem to mind the coming and going of dogs so far. he has not bonded with either foster dogs and neither have we.

 

we did enroll felix in more obedience classes. he was engaged in agility last year and just couldn't get into doing the tunnel. wow, what a difference a year has made and he is just delighted doing his special stuff. emily was really out of it her last 2-3 weeks on pain meds, so i think they had a gradual seperation. she also stopped walking w/ us 6 weeks prior to her death, that makes a difference as well.when our foster girl leaves we will again access his need for a companion.

 

but every dog is different, our welsh terrier- willie wonka- was totally lost when his companion died. it took us 9 months to get our greyhound, emily. willie came back to life, at age 11, the spring in his step returned, the bark was back in tune and he was so happy to get shoved around the back seat of our honda civic.

 

every dog is different and every person has their mouring time as well. i don't know if i can have more than just foster greyhounds in my house at this time. but there are plenty of greys that need a good first experince when they leave the track. that i know i can give them and then some.

[LadyGrey]

I am so so sorry for your loss. I had the same when one of my girls died of cancer and my other girl grieved. But I took Nylah special places and took out special "Nylah Time" and bonded closer with her. This seemed to really ease her. We went to the beach together, river together. I took her on picnics. I dont think forcing socialization with other dogs is the answer. YOU are the LINK to the lost loved one, and YOU are the source of comfort and companion. Even though you have children and other family members in the house. Please, please, please, try to make your grieving GREY a priority for a little while. It will be ever so more rewarding than you will ever know. I did lose my Nylah a year later, but I still to this day have wonderful memories and dreams of that bonding with Nylah. I have two new girls (I have had them for like four years now LOL), but I will never forget my former girls.

 

[FiveRoooooers]

I'm so sorry about this. Adopting or fostering another hound might ultimately be what works to ease Henry's pain (and yours) But until you are ready, classes are a good idea. Our local trainer has such a mix of fun and informative classes, and one that the hounds really enjoy is "Doggie Line Dancing" - it doesn't matter if you have two left feet or four left paws, it's just fun. There must be something like this in your area. Just getting out and socializing, or a walk on a new trail, can be very uplifting. You might try Janet Marlow's CD "Zen Dog Music & Massage for a Stress-Free Pet" - I leave this on all day while I'm at work and definitely during a T'storm, it really does seem to keep a calm environment. Rescue Remedy can be incredibly helpful, also.

[Guest bluefawn]

Short of getting another dog, is there anything I can do to help Henry? He is so lost without Riley who passed on Jan. 27th. I know adopting another grey would help tremendously, but that would be terribly irresponsible of me to adopt another grey right now as I am totally at the wrong time in my life. Henry just seems so lost without Riley. They were like this ---> They fit together so well. I am trying to keep our routine the same as much as possible, hoping this is a comfort. My boyfriend has two dogs, but they are too rough and Henry gets confused by their fast excitable pace. (they are chesespeake bay retrievers, need I say more?)

 

Does it just take time? How long did it take your dog to get over a significant loss? Henry essentially lost his entire canine pack by losing Riley. Any ideas at all on how to ease his pain?

 

Evan went through this when Ladybug died. He would walk up and down the hall, and pace around in the living room. He didn't want to eat or play or anything. I finally started giving him Rescue Remedy, and he finally came around. They had been like an old couple who had been together all their life. It took Evan about a good month to get back to some sense of normal. And, of course, they are all different, just like us. I'd say give him some more time. Sending hugs from Penny and Candi