Guest nursenoonoo Posted January 17, 2008 Share Posted January 17, 2008 HI everyone, New to the site but enjoying reading all your stories and tips. I have a problem. I am a major dog lover (greyhounds in particular) and have rarely been without a dog in my life. Problem is I am married to a man who is not and is anti me ever having a faithful companion around. I am a nurse with four children, taking a career break. I am soon to return to work but only for two shifts a week (as want time with my kids) so have loads of time on my hands. We live in rural Lincolnshire which offers great long walks for me and my doggy companion. I have been in touch with our local Greyhound rescue who agree we could provide a loving home but my husband wont budge! Am I being unreasonable in my request? Should I give up on it? He said I could maybe have one when my youngest starts Primary school bot thats four years away and I feel strongly about rescuing an ex-racing dog (you know what it is like right?). Years is a long time when I feel ready now. Any advice would be lovely as I am currently dishing out lots of silent treatment to the man!!! Melanie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest IrskasMom Posted January 17, 2008 Share Posted January 17, 2008 ohh Melanie .. I feel for you . Perhaps in time ,he will give in . I am keeping my Fingers crossed . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TaniandMalachy Posted January 17, 2008 Share Posted January 17, 2008 Programme his Ipod with subliminal messages ("You LOVE greyhounds", "There's something missing in your life..oh, that's right, it's a greyhound" etc) and play them to him while he's sleeping? Sorry...that's not very helpful, is it? Welcome to Greytalk, anyway Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KsFrets Posted January 17, 2008 Share Posted January 17, 2008 (edited) Can you get him to the kennel? Maybe a greyhound will charm him? Has he given you a reason why? I'm a husband that didn't want a dog untill my wife and I retired. I love dogs and grew up with them, but we both worked the same shift, and any hound we got would have been alone close to 10 hours a day. If you can get him to the kennel, when a dog picks you, really turn on the charm with the dog. I'm serious. When I see how happy Magnus makes my wife, it just melts me inside, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Edited January 17, 2008 by KsFrets Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest GreytMuse Posted January 17, 2008 Share Posted January 17, 2008 Welcome, Melanie! Has your husband actually been around greyhounds for any length of time? Do you know of any greyhounds that you could "borrow" for a day or so? Is there any one thing about dogs that he objects to -- clean up, vet bills, smell -- that you could address specifically? My heart goes out to you and I hope this is something you can find a compromise on! Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nursenoonoo Posted January 17, 2008 Share Posted January 17, 2008 Ahh magnus you bring a tear to my eye!! My parents in law own racing greyhounds (one at a time) and when they retire they have them so he sees theirs all the time. His problem is that he just doesnt like dogs and also worries our youngest boy (15 months) will be mauled to death! He is being ridiculous as I have a good dose of common sense and am not inclined to leave ANY dog unattended with a young child. I explained the ins and outs of our situation to the Greyhound Trust and they are sure they have a suitable dog to suit our family. Anyway after a bit of welling up, animated arguments and unashamed begging guess what??? He said he will 'think' about it.......ok thats not a yes but surely the man knows if he now says no he will have an inconsolable wreck of a wife on his hands for the forseeable future?! I did the worst thing possible thouigh...I looked at the pictures on the Trusts website and there are a hanful of dogs who need a home in this very town, (Boston, Lincs). I am now unable to erase those godamn beautiful brown eyes from my mind and if he doesnt give in soon the iPod idea is becoming ever more appealing! I will post again when he has mulled it over. Thanks all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aroundthehound Posted January 17, 2008 Share Posted January 17, 2008 I feel for you...Good luck your winning over the hubby Quote AROUND the HOUNDS Charly Blair Designs Around the Hounds/Charly Blair Blog Char, Isabelle, Chester and new IG guy Sid Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KennelMom Posted January 17, 2008 Share Posted January 17, 2008 My opinion (probably what you don't want to hear) is that if one person in the marriage doesn't want animals, then it's no animals. (I have the same view of having kids as well). I dont' think it's fair to the dog. If one person is hostile towards their presence in the home, these sensitive souls can definitely pick that up. He's familiar with the breed so it's not like he's just 'uneducated' as to what greyhounds are all about. Some people just don't like animals. There's nothing wrong with that. Affinity for animals -particularly dogs- definitely had an influence in my choice of husbands b/c I knew I would never be happy with out a house full of hounds. Perhaps you could volunteer at the greyhound shelter and satisfy your desire to be around these magnificent dogs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SusanP Posted January 17, 2008 Share Posted January 17, 2008 I agree that it's important for everyone to be on board if a family gets a pet. There is some risk to a dog in a home where one spouse resents and dislikes the dog--from abuse or just plain unfriendly behavior that could make the dog really miserable, and from the high likelihood that the dog will be given up eventually. For the dog's sake, I wouldn't bring one into your home. It's really sad, but what can you do? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trudy Posted January 17, 2008 Share Posted January 17, 2008 Perhaps you could volunteer at the greyhound shelter and satisfy your desire to be around these magnificent dogs. Good way to still get your fix. Does the group do fostering? If so, talk to him to see if you could foster and he could see how your youngest does with a dog around. This way it isn't a forever thing and if it doesn't work for whatever reason, the dog wasn't staying there forever anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brindles Posted January 17, 2008 Share Posted January 17, 2008 Any advice would be lovely Here's the first thing I thought of. A very influential person in my life once told me, "These people who are raising their kids without any animals in their house are making a big mistake." Some of my best childhood memories are teaching Julio (see my signature) to do agility when he was just a year or two old. btw, welcome to GT Quote | Rachel | Dewty, Trigger, and Charlotte | Missing Dazzle, Echo, and Julio | Learn what your greyhound's life was like before becoming part of yours!"The only thing better than the cutest kitty in the world is any dog." -Daniel Tosh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KsFrets Posted January 17, 2008 Share Posted January 17, 2008 He said he will 'think' about it.......ok thats not a yes but surely the man knows if he now says no he will have an inconsolable wreck of a wife on his hands for the forseeable future?! I think he is serious. I can just about betchya that he is trying to work it all out in his mind. Men are different than Women. You are probably thinking love and companionship and wagging tails and doggie kisses...he is thinking muddy carpets, poo in the yard and dead bushes, drool all over the place, food bills, vet bills, animals that lick their butt then lick the kids face, what to do when you go on vacation, posessions getting chewed up and all kinds of stuff like that...it's just the way men are. But if he's "thinking about it"...things might be turning around in his mind. Good luck to you and I hope he becomes a big pushover soon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SusanP Posted January 17, 2008 Share Posted January 17, 2008 Maybe with such a young child at home waiting is the best idea. When your child is bigger and stronger, your DH may not feel so worried. And the worry is not unreasonable, honestly. We didn't get a dog until our youngest was 6. Things may well change over time for you. But now may not be the best time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SabrinaInDE Posted January 17, 2008 Share Posted January 17, 2008 My husband NEVER had a pet until he married me (I can't imagine--I grew up with all kinds of animals). We took it slow. I only had a cat when we got married, and he got used to (and now loves) him. Then we got another cat. He got used to him. We got a grey. He got used to him. Then we fostered with intent (so he could "see how it is" with two dogs in the house) another grey and ended up adopting her. He is still not animal-crazy like me, but he loves me enough to know that having animals around makes me truly happy. Good luck, I hope things work out for you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vjgrey Posted January 17, 2008 Share Posted January 17, 2008 My opinion (probably what you don't want to hear) is that if one person in the marriage doesn't want animals, then it's no animals. (I have the same view of having kids as well). I dont' think it's fair to the dog. If one person is hostile towards their presence in the home, these sensitive souls can definitely pick that up. I agree. I also think that, like having kids, this is an issue that should be worked out before you get married if having animals is important to you. I can (and have) compromised on a lot of things, but if my husband hadn't wanted dogs, that would've been a "deal breaker" for me. Quote Valerie w/ Cash (CashforClunkers) & Lucy (Racing School Dropout)Missing our gorgeous Miss Diamond (Shorty's Diamond), sweet boy Gabe (Zared) and Holly (ByGollyItsHolly), who never made it home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mymainegreys Posted January 18, 2008 Share Posted January 18, 2008 I grew up with animals (cats, rabbits) ALWAYS a dog, my whole life. My husband had a parrot and guini pig, that's it. When I brought up getting a dog, I had done a bunch of research about this breed having met some out and about and presented the info. to hubbie. He thought the whole rescue thing was wonderful but wasn't toally convinced. Then we went to a meet and greet and bought a book. He started to warm up to the idea and finally we adopted Chelsea. (Who is HIS baby, for sure:-) Having won this battle, a year later we went to the rescue center to pick up meds and a new collar for Chelsea, we came home with Herbie instead. I had been pushing to get Chels a companion and Hubbie was holding firm "No". Then Herbie found him......huge boy, the most gentle giant ever......he got the new collar and a new home:-) They are a wonderful breed for people who aren't sure if they want the typical commitments and energy other breeds tend to need. That's not to say we don't devote our lives to them BUT.....they sleep 18 hours+ a day. They are very clean, not that typical dog smell. They're very quiet. Can be playful, can be super calm. They are the perfect "house dog". Totally appreciative of any time they are taken out to play but completely content to curl up on a dog bed and nap the afternoon away. He will not regret it...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nursenoonoo Posted January 18, 2008 Share Posted January 18, 2008 Brilliant, you have all given me much food for thought BUT, I feel I need to defend my poor hubbie here. He is in no way anti-canine or anything and so he would never mistreat any animal or give off such a negative vibe the dog would suffer emotionally. If I believed for a moment either dog or husband would suffer I would not even consider adopting thats for sure. He had had dogs previously but his ex was super fickle and they would come and go with the weather (depending on what breed she fancied that month!), not an ideal introduction to pet ownership. He doesnt hate the idea of a dog he is more ambivalent, and so as it is less important to him he is happy to keep putting me off. As for my youngest child I have spoken at length to the fantastic re-homing team in my area and they assure me a suitable dog can be found who will provide my young boy with a positive experience and friendship. Putting that aside, like I said I would never even dream of leaving said boy and dog alone for a second as here in the uk the news is littered with dog maulings, (flavour of the month). I believe everyone would benefit provided common sense and basic training is deployed (the dog towards the kids and the kids being respectful and gentle with the dog). Anyway after my rant I can happily announce that my long suffering husband has agreed to our rehoming a greyhound and I have my home visit planned for Sunday. We are re-decorating so as provided we dont loose points for being in chaos this week all should go well. I am so excited to bring our new pal home and looking forward to choosing our pet. Thanks for all your advice, I will keep you informed of our progress for sure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KsFrets Posted January 18, 2008 Share Posted January 18, 2008 Congratulations!!! And good luck, I hope all goes well Sunday!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KennelMom Posted January 18, 2008 Share Posted January 18, 2008 I hope it all works out Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TBSFlame Posted January 18, 2008 Share Posted January 18, 2008 I guess I am the odd duck, I don't ask my husband. With that being said, one day I came home from work to find a boxer there that he rescued. He didn't ask me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nursenoonoo Posted January 18, 2008 Share Posted January 18, 2008 Sounds like the perfect husband to me!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GeorgeofNE Posted January 18, 2008 Share Posted January 18, 2008 Wow! Good luck to you. I wouldn't even DATE someone who wasn't a dog lover, never mind marry him!!! Quote Susan, Hamish, Mister Bigglesworth and Nikita Stanislav. Missing Ming, George, and Buck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest whatahound Posted January 18, 2008 Share Posted January 18, 2008 I hope it works out for you. When I met my husband I had two dogs. I told him that I would always have them in my life. They bring me joy like nothing else does. Welcome ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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