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Horton's Eileen (aka Porsche)


Guest VelvetEars
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Guest VelvetEars

I never thought I'd be posting here so soon. I wrote this goodbye to Porsche Fri night, after she left this world for one where she is free from all pain and suffering, and knows only peace and love.

 

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My dear, sweet Porsche. I don't know where to begin. I thought we would have more time with you. At least another year or two. You weren't supposed to leave us yet. I had no idea that when I left Monday morning, I was saying goodbye for the last time. I feel like I failed you, like I let you down…except you never let on that you were so sick. I don't know what happened to send you downhill so fast. You were always the stoic one, never letting on that you were in pain or that something was wrong, even when you ripped two nails off. You always put on a brave face, my sweet one. You were the silent leader, content to be in the background until you felt the others had had enough of a turn in the spotlight, and then you pushed your way to the front for your turn – as though we had to save the best for last.

 

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I don't know if I'll be able to find your other family to tell them it was time for you to leave us. I promise I'll do my best. They made such a hard decision, giving you up so you could have a family with another grey to keep you company. But one look at you that day and I knew you would be ours for the rest of your life. You were a God-send, helping Jane become more secure and less of a freak about being alone. You were the one who put fosters in their place with your sharp bark, letting them know that there had been enough foolishness and it was time to settle down.

 

 

Now that you're gone, I'm not sure how I will know that it's 9:30 and time for bed. I could always count on you to find me at 9:30 and let me know that you were ready to pee and go upstairs. And how will I know it's bedtime cookie time? The others waited for you to give the signal each night, nudging me and whining until I gave in and got out the cookie bin. You never let on to the others that you always got two cookies and they only got one. We figured it was your due, and I know you believed it was, too.

 

 

My sweet Princess Porsche, Queen of the Couch…Pretty Girl….P-pot…the Divine Miss P….I hope you understand why we didn't wait until I was home from Maine. Daddy just thought you were too far gone to make it until tomorrow, much less Monday, and I couldn't put you through that. I didn't want you to die alone during the night. I needed to at least have Daddy holding you, even if I couldn't be any closer than on the phone next to your ear. He said you didn't even move when I said goodbye. I think you were already gone, sweetie. I think your body was still there, but you had already started over the bridge, drawn by the bunnies and kitties waiting to be chased and all the sweets you could eat. I know Grandma was there waiting for you, ready to rub your ears and show you where you'll be able to rest on a soft pillow next to her. She'll keep an eye on you until I get there, baby. You were so good to visit her in the nursing home, and I know that she was there to greet you again. Maybe you've already met Snoopy and Caesar and Nikki. Kony, too. He may be scary looking, but he understands greyhounds – I promise. And I know there are a lot of greyhounds just like you who've arrived recently – look for Scooter. I bet he can show you around, too. He's the handsome fawn guy – he shouldn't be too hard to find. He probably knows where the best places are to find people to love on.

 

 

I love you so much, babycakes, and I miss you so much it hurts. I am so so sorry I wasn't home for you. But from what the doctor said, it wouldn't have mattered. You were leaving us, and we were just helping you go, sparing you some hours of lingering. I want to believe her. I just feel so terrible that I wasn't there to hold you and rub your ears and kiss your white face. I know it was hard for Daddy to do it alone, but I hope you were able to sense my presence with you, too.

 

 

I can't thank you enough for all you did for us. You showed Daddy that not all greyhounds were weird like Jane. You showed Jane how to be more secure, and to help her understand that it was ok when Mommy left because I'd always come back. You shared your bed, toys, and the couch with fosters and GUR overnighters. And you accepted that Jackson was here to stay, and didn't protest too much when he wanted to cuddle with you. You taught the kids the value of sharing the couch with you, and even taught Simon that not all dogs would chase him. (Yes, I did catch the two of you snoozing together on the couch a few times!) You were the poster child for greyhound adoption, my love. Always the lady, the Grande Dame of the house, the sweetest, silliest girl I've ever known.

 

 

You will always be in my heart, Sweet P. Always. And I will be watching for you, and counting the days until I see you again.

 

 

Porsche_goodbye.jpg

Edited by VelvetEars
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:grouphug What a pretty girl. I'm so very sorry for your loss. f_yellow

...............Chase (FTH Smooth Talker), Morgan (Cata), Reggie (Gable Caney), Rufus
(Reward RJ). Fosters check in, but they don't check out.
Forever loved -- Cosmo (System Br Mynoel), March 11, 2002 - October 8, 2009.
Miss Cosmo was a lady. And a lady always knows when to leave.

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What a beautiful tribute to your Queen. :weep My heart aches for you. :brokenheart I'm sure she felt your love constantly, even when you were not physically there. Godspeed, sweet Porsche... :gh_run

Jeanne with Remington & Scooter the cat
....and Beloved Bridge Angels Sandee, Shari, Wells, Derby, Phoenix, Jerry Lee and Finnian.....
If tears could build a stairway, and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven
and bring you home again.

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Guest greytfulhounds

I am so very sorry for your loss. :cry1 Porsche sounded like such a sweet girl and some of her actions you described reminded me of my own Bridge angel, Joanie, who left us in July. I know that Joanie has been given the duty at the Bridge to guide all of the newbies to where the treats are kept in the Land of Biskies. There has to be such a place because that would have been her Heaven.

 

Run free Porsche and make sure you find Joanie for the biskies!

 

:f_pink:gh_lay:f_pink

 

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Tears here too...what a beautiful tribute to your beautiful girl. She truly was a queen -- and you a poet.

Thank you for sharing your heart with us here.

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Guest darlene

Beautiful tribute. :weep I'm so sorry you couldn't be there with her at the end, :brokenheart:grouphug:f_red:f_red but she knew your heart was there with her. :heart Run free, beautiful Porsche. :gh_run:angelwings

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Guest bowiebears

My sympathies in your grief.

 

While you couldn't be physically present for your girl, I'm sure she knew your heart and spirit were reaching out to her as she made her trip to The Bridge.

 

And one day we all be reunited there forever.

 

--Isaac

 

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What a beautiful tribute for a very special girl. I'm sure she has found Scooter and he's showing her the softest spots to lay and the best places to go to get scritchies. :grouphug :grouphug

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