When It's Time For The Bridge

[Guest FordRacingRon]

I can't answer this one. Leia is my first dog as an adult,,and as a kid the dog we had went to that special farm all kid's pets go to. Leia is only 5 and I pray everyday she is here for years and years to come,,but when it's time I pray I have the strength to do whats right for her and not for myself,,,it breaks my heart to even think about it now, when the time comes it will be the toughtest thing I have ever done.

[Guest boni923]

I cannot answer that either. I would rather not have to make the decision, but at the same time I would like to let my babies know they were loved here also. It all comes down to the moment and the situation I guess.

[Guest MomoftheFuzzy]

I'm very sorry for your loss, Sheila.

 

I voted "unsure" because I really don't know. It depends on our experiences, I guess. I would have given my right arm to have had more time with Gino. It was too sudden in my opinion. I only had a couple hours, if even that, before having to send him to the Bridge, once the vet gave the diagnosis.

 

I miss my G-man, so much...

 

[Guest jbox]

In my own experience I think knowing in advance is better because then you can start to prepare yourself mentally. Of course it is always upsetting to say goodbye no matter what, but at least in my own opinion it helps to ease into it instead of having them just all of the sudden taken out of your life quickly. I think it also helps to have other canines in the house. I cannot imagine losing one if it was your only one, I think that would be very difficult.

 

I'm sorry for your loss!

 

[Guest pbailey1]

It's hard either way....I've gone through both. I think best (if there can BE such a thing) is for it to be quick, but with enough notice that you can say your goodbyes. I guess 24 hours or less notice so you can have one last day or spoiling your baby.

[Guest Redpack]

I originally voted yes. Now that I'm in that position, I'm not so sure. It does hurt our time together and I keep trying to envision what it will be like to take him for that last ride. How can I look into those beautiful, trusting eyes and take him there? I thought I was going to have to take him last night because he was crying and could barely walk, the meds didn't help, he couldn't lie down without help, but he must have just bumped his leg again and was better in the morning. How do I know? So, no, I'm not so sure knowing is such a good thing after all.

[Ragsysmum]

When I first replied to this I had never lost a dog suddenly. Now I have. Ragsy broke her leg and had to be put to sleep aged around 14. Within less than an hour she went from running round the garden to crossing the Bridge. I actually found this the easiest passing of all the dogs we have had as I had no real choice, she did not suffer for any length of time and went to sleep on her own duvet in the back of her car with us both sitting with her. She went gently to sleep and knew nothing about it. It was not what I would have chosen of course, but it was easier on us I think.

[Hawthorn]

I've been thinking about this for a while and still can't decide.

 

My 15 year old poodle was blind, almost deaf, incontinent and a bit senile. After months of agonizing over what to do, I made the decision to have him euthanised. I took a week off work and spoiled him rotten: all his favourite walks and meals and lots of love. He was peacefully put to sleep in the garden on a cool summer day with the people he loved around him. This was the "best" ending I have experienced. I felt sad but peaceful afterwards. In this case it was good to know in advance, as knowing that I had made his last week as good for him as I could helped me with the pain of losing him.

 

Many years later, and 6 year old greyhound Teddy is diagnosed with osteosarcoma. We knew we were going to lose him and tried to spoil him but were so shocked by the diagnosis and in such a panic about what course of action to take that the last 2 weeks were filled with sleepless nights and constant tears. In his case, knowing in advance was too traumatic to make it a positive thing.

 

With Charlie, a 12 year old greyhound, I came home from work to find him unable to stand and he was euthanised later that evening. I wish I had known in advance that this was going to happen so that I could have taken time off work and been with him in his last days.

 

I agree with those who've said to treat each day as if it could be their last. My two are only 3 but I spoil them every day just in case.

[Guest ChasesMum]

I don't know, but I do know I am writing this with tears in my eyes from reading some of the stories!

 

With George when we got the dreaded Osteo call, it was decision time... his pain was so out of control, we had the choice to either put him down the next day or to schedule him for amputation in 2 days. 4 months post amp later, after some of the best time we had with him, we knew he was going downhill, and days after restarting him on pain meds we could see he was asking us to let him go. Middle of the night and DH and I looked at eachother and I said "Happy Valentine's Day hun, George won't make it through the day". We spent the day coaxing him to eat all sorts of treats, petted him and told him how handsome he was. His face was wet with my tears as he went over the bridge and I don't know how I will ever see V Day the same.

 

Sometimes I wish he would have gone in his sleep so that I wouldnt have had to make the decision, but really he made it for us.

 

It sucks. It really sucks. Either way it totally and absolutley sucks.

[carronstar]

I've been in both situations and they both sucked royally. I'd like to put it more politely than that but I just can't. Each time it was as if someone had reached in, ripped out my heart and left a big oozing hole.

 

Scarlett was a very old lady when she got the osteo but just 4 weeks before she fell she ran me at full speed all the way home from Central Park. I had two weeks from the date of the diagnosis to the day she went to the bridge. I chose the date so we were able to live each and every day with her favorite foods and her favorite people. I was a mess of a human being. In the midst of this, though, I found amazing kindness from neighbors, and from total strangers who stopped me on the street to tell me they didn't know me but if they could help in any way, to let them know. My weekend doorman, who on his last shift took her head in his hands and said his quiet goodbye to her. She left quietly, on her own bed, with everyone who loved her and who she loved with her. It was the hardest decision I'd ever had to make. I had lost my mother to lung cancer, the love of my life (who was the reason I got Scarlett in the first place) to a mystery illness, and had to make the decision to take my grandmother off life support. I can't even say how much I adored my grandmother, yet letting Scarlett go was a much tougher decision. I honestly felt that I was killing my best friend. Even knowing that the decision was the right one, it still nearly did me in.

 

Morgaine came to me two weeks after I lost Scarlett. We had a rough first year because of her separation anxiety and a really lousy dog walker. But over the second and what we had of the third year, she really grew into a girl who knew she was in her forever home and she knew she was loved. The poor girl had bounced a few times so her SA was really bad. I worked with her to train as a therapy team and she was an amazing therapy dog. The week before I lost her we were interviewed and approved to do home visits with homebound ill and elderly here in NYC. She truly impressed the head of the program. The day before I lost her she got off the elevator on the wrong floor and I had to chase her around and was late for a breakfast meeting but she was just so silly. The day I lost her, I must have known unconsciously that I needed to be at home. It was the last day before my Christmas holiday so I just couldn't call in sick. My wonderful walker called me around 3 to say that I had to come home, that Morgaine was having seizures in the apartment and she couldn't find my vets number. I gave her the number while crying since I sensed that there would not be a good outcome and I ran out of the office with my purse and my phone. No coat in NYC in December. She was having major seizures when I got home, we found a way to get her to the eVet near me. By 7:00 pm that night my girl was gone.

 

I remember when I was losing Scarlett that a man who owned a senior boy had told me that over that Thanksgiving he knew it was his boy's last weekend so he had a friend feed and walk his younger girl, and he crawled onto the couch with his boy and stayed there with him until the end. In my heart I was hoping that is how Scarlett would go. In her sleep when her time had come.

 

Losing the dog that owns your heart is never going to be right whether we have to make the choice for them, or the choice is taken away from us suddenly. I just love my girl every day. There are times that I hug her and tell every muscle, organ and hair on her body how much I love her and thank them for working so hard to keep her in the here and now.

[Guest jerrybird]

It's been four weeks since Jerry passed away. He had been ill for three weeks and I knew that his time was short. My mind knew it; my heart did not. I am thankful for the last days with him and he enjoyed all his favorites but making that phone call to the vet broke me up. I still feel like I failed him in some way; that things should have been different; that we were unstoppable. He spent his last morning with his head in my lap being loved and without pain. I am grateful for that.

[Guest GreytfulJack]

I have been in both situations. When my GHD became suddenly ill and died unexpectantly, I was DEVASTATED. It was so off-the-cuff...no time to think anything through...very much like a disaster where one is left to just pick up the pieces afterwards.

 

During the time when we knew our cat/grey was going to the bridge, there was more time to reflect, say our goodbyes and pray. It was just as sad and our feelings of loss were great, but we did not have the out-of-control chaotic feelings we had in the other situation.

 

Either way, it's hard for all of us. We love our fur kids and it just goes to show how great the human heart can love.

 

Peace.

Tracy

[Guest Greensleeves]

I thought I had replied to this last year after losing Whistler suddenly, but I guess I didn't. I've now done both, and both were hard, but in different ways. Nelly died after two months with kidney failure; Whistler died 36 hours after a cancer diagnosis (a tumor burst and he went into shock). Both were awful, yet both times the actual moment of decision was obvious and without question. I'm grateful for that. I am so relieved that we were able to assess the situation and be decisive. We haven't had to watch a slow decline yet and agonize over when.

 

Losing Whistler was a shock, but losing Nelly was agony. Someone said that the last few weeks were too traumatic for it to be 'good,' and I think I agree with that. I cried more the two months that Nelly was sick than the month she's been gone. But for us, I think, the mitigating factor was not how long we knew, but age. Whistler was almost 13, and we'd watched him get older and slow down and knew that the end was not *that* far off. Nelly was only 8. Had she been 13, or even 10, I think it would have been a lot easier to accept the loss. After Whistler died, I was OK with his death--sad that he was gone, but OK with the *death.* I will never be OK about Nelly. She could have had lots of good life left, and I'm going to be mad as hell about that forever.

 

After Whistler passed, the thing that was hardest was that because it was so sudden, and he was such a quiet guy, it was almost like maybe he hadn't been here at all. It's hard to explain, and I hated that feeling--was it real? Was he really ever here? Did he have an impact on the world? With Nelly, every part of 2 months was focused on her care, and so we *felt* every minute of those months. And then, suddenly, there was nothing to do. That's been strange and a relief.

 

The last thing I'll say, though, is that in a way, 2 months seems like an even shorter time than 2 days. It's harder, somehow, to look at the rest of the pack and think, "You're fine now, but you could be gone by New Year's." I didn't have that thought after Whistler (maybe it's the age again).

 

I think Burpdog was right, though--maybe it gets harder every time. I have at least 9 more times to find out.

[Guest suzye]

I've only lost 2 dogs. The first was a childhood pet and she had a horribly aggressive tumor. She got sick again only a month after we had the first tumor removed. Of course it happened right after I went back to college in the fall, and I would have left town to attend school regardless, so in that case I don't think I would want to know. With my greyhound Jazz though, I wish I would have known. I thought I knew how she would die. She was in kidney failure so I thought I would watch her get sicker and sicker, and stop eating, and then we would schedule it. Instead, her kidneys were doing great and she was having more back problems. One day she just couldn't move her back legs at ALL. I didn't know her last walk was her last walk. I wish I would have known that. Even though I had already started preparing mysef for letting her go, I was not prepared for *this*. Immediately after the incident I knew it was over and even though we scheduled it for 1 1/2 days later, it still felt sudden. I can't even imagine being hit with the freight train of having a healthy dog that suddenly gets into an accident and dies, or something else REALLY sudden like that. Wow. I guess I'd rather know.

[Guest DebR]

I voted not know, because, having experienced both, the guilt eats me up with the knowing. Did I do enough? Did I wait to long (selfishly) or not long enough, was I too stupid to see the signs I should have seen, etc., etc., etc.. The guilt consumes me, so I'd just rather not know.

 

[BootsyCollins]

I am so grateful that I knew Argos was going to go. It made me focus on him so much more than I would have in the month after having a baby. I made sure to take lots of photos, and give him lots of hugs and kisses - even more than usual. It also helped us prepare ourselves for the day we'd have to help him over the bridge. It was still a terrible, terrible day, but we were ready.

[Guest JustLiverTreats]

tough question - i have not yet lost a pet but just thinking about it makes me feel sick....my dog ran off into the bushes while hiking the other day - which is unusual for him - he always looks to make sure i'm right behind him...anyhow - he was gone for at least 10 minutes and i actually started to cry and start thinking all the most horrible things....so i can't imagine what it would feel like to know they were gone for good....

[Guest isntitgreyt]

I don't think I would want to know. I don't want to start mourning the loss of one of my pets until it happens. If I knew in advance, I think I would be a complete basket case and unable to function until it was time and then I'd still be the same way when it happened. I would rather spend all the quality time with them that I can and when it happens, I'll mourn them. My Boston Terrier has been sick and his time may be coming. It hurts to think about but I treasure every day I do have with him.