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When It's Time For The Bridge


Guest sheila

does knowing in advance help/not help  

269 members have voted

  1. 1. I would like to know ahead of time

    • I would rather not know
      58
    • not sure
      79
    • I would rather know
      134


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Guest CindiLuvsGreys

I think it is much easier not knowing. My last 2 days with my 12 year old mix were so horrible. Thinking that everything we did was for the last time. Trying to cram a lifetime of memories into the very short amount of time she had left. Most of the time I just held her and cried. I am glad I got to say goodbye but if I was able to choose I would rather not know.

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Guest Redpack

I think not. I start crying when I read the chapter.."Knowing When It's Time to Say Goodbye"...I did even before I had a dog...I know death is the inevitable end to life, but I hope to enjoy the ride for as long as I can before the end comes...and then I hope I handle it with grace.

 

 

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I don't know which would be better. I just want to say I am so sorry for the losses of all of these animals. The pain in this thread is heartbreaking.

Daisy & Eli, the crazy hounds, and Bella & Zoe, the curly kitties,
and Jed (10.30.98 - 11.28.08) & Ripple (3.25.99 - 8.20.09) together again at the bridge
with Cleo-Kitty (10.8.1988 - 7.26.2007) always in my heart.

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Guest jfroggirl76

I voted that "I don't know" I have had to send beloved pets to the bridge and it is one of the hardest decisions and I would prefer not to have to make it. That being said I am the one in my house that makes that decision.

 

I have a 15 year old mix breed and I treat him like every day could be his last and I tell him that I love him every night and that I will see him in the morning. I make time to sit with on the floor and I must admit I sleep with one eye open during the night. Actually tomorrow will be our 15 year anniversary to the day I adopted him and we share a very deep bond.

 

I guess after all that said, I do want my old boy to make that decision on his own because if I have to make that decision for him. I love him too much, but I also don't want him to suffer.

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Guest GreytfullDad

I personally would not want to know in advance, although it is more of a shock, it eliminates the agonizing decision of WHEN to let them go, and the needless suffering they endure when we wait to long.

I think the ultimate moral of this post is to treasure every moment you have with your greys, other pets, not to mention family and friends as you never know when the end may come

 

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Guest Gideon

I voted that I would rather not know.

 

If I knew it in advance I would anguish over it and it would eat me alive. That state of mind is not good for them or us.

 

As a sudden occurence, I think I could better get over it and it would lighten the anguish leading to the appointment.

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  • 2 months later...
Guest kaotic1

Either or... We don't have a real choice on this. With our cat Ningsai she had kidney disease for 2 years as well as high blood pressure. There were several instances where we thought we would lose her. So many evet visits thinking this was the end that when it did happen it was still a surprise. You get used to the vet pulling them out of it so when they look at you and say i can't do it this time it is still shocking.

 

Now with Jordan. I thought for sure the vet would be able to save her. She was a very healthy girl for her age. Surely it was just an infection... until she started bleeding internally. The shock of it made it harder to make the decison but the pain can't get worse... It hurts the same no matter what.

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Guest dogrunner04

Reading the posts is just heartbreaking, and brings back a lot of memories. It also reminds me that everyone else suffers just as much when they lose a special pet. I think the only thing that makes one way any "easier"--any time you lose a friend it is devastating--is if the animal gives you some sense that they are ready to go.

In April I lost a very special cat, Bob, to diabetes. He had been on insulin for about 15 months. For about the first year he did wonderfully, but had been declining slowly, and basically stopped eating one day. He had seemed to take his frequent daylong stays at the vet for blood sugar tests in stride, and seemed content there. When I took him in the last time, to see if there was anything that could be done, he came home angry and snarling, almost as if to say: enough--I appreciate the effort but that is enough. I held him from when I brought him home, through the night, until he died in my arms the next morning. It was absolutely heartbreaking, but I had the sense he was ready to go.

One week later, my 10 year old greyhound, Twiga, was in the back yard, and broke her rght front leg. I was just stunned by that, as she looked and seemed to feel fantastic. Early tests could not detect any signs of cancer, and it was weeks later when a vet from OSU detected cancer cells on the slides from the fracture site. Twiga spent 3 days at the University of Illinois clinic, where her leg was amputated, but never recovered from bleeding problems caused by the fracture and surgery. I drove over to see her early Saturday morning, and left somewhat hopeful, even though her condition was still very serious. Almost the minute I walked in the door of my house I got a call from the vet telling me she had died. That was exactly 3 weeks after her 10th birthday. The news was devastating, and almost six months later, I am still having a very hard time with it.

Twiga had seemed extremely healthy, and happy before breaking her leg. She may have slowed a little with age, but not much. She ran with me regularly, and we had run 2 days before her injury. She seemed to enjoy playing in her yard, running and chasing and carrying her toys more than ever, and played the day of her injury.

I am much more at peace with losing Bob than losing Twiga, and the main reason I can think of is that losing Twiga was more of a shock, and even seeing her at the U of I hospital struggling, I never had the sense that she was ready to go, and I felt she wanted to fight to stay, but maybe that was just me. I am grateful that almost all of her days, except the last few, were very good days. Maybe she would not have been happy as an amputee, and it would have been very hard to see her in pain, but I sure wish she could have come home again and been spoiled a little more before she left me. Although I visited her as much as they would let me at the U of I, and I did get to pet her and tell her again how much I loved her, I wish I had been there when she died. The vet student who was with her was very kind, and said Twiga went peacefully, and she cried telling me about it when I went to pick up Twiga's body, so I'm sure it was as painless as possible for her, but I still wish I had been with her.

In closing, I'd just like to say that I am so sorry for everyone's losses that they have shared here, but thank them for sharing their experiences and insight gained.

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I replied in this thread earlier but now, once more, we are at that stage again.....bone cancer in my girl's back leg and wondering how long we have left. I have never had one go quickly and easily out of all the rescues we have had and it seems that once again, we will have to decide when the time is right for her to leave us. It doesn't get any easier but at least, knowing, we can make her last days as happy as possible.

Sue from England

 

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Guest ProudGreyMom

I voted that I would rather know. When my heart dog Benny passed, he was in poor health at that time. I pretty much knew it was time and called the vet who agreed. I took the afternoon off and sat with Ben in my lap and Jake by our side. Made some calls to let people know and then DH and I went to the vet when he was done with patients for the day and had out Ben sent to the bridge. But I had time to prepare and spend time holding him.

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I voted that I would rather know. Either way is heartbreaking, though I agree with dogrunner04, who said that it may be easier if they give some sense that they are ready. I think if you have a choice, and you know you should do the unselfish thing, and not keep them alive simply because you can't bear to let them go, then at least you have given them that final gift.

I've had many, many dogs and cats (working for vets and animal shelters for 27 years makes it an occupational hazzard!), so I've lost many. Of course, it's never easy, but I've gotten to the point where I'm a tiny bit more realistic, and try to make our time together as meaningful as possible, remembering that they aren't dreading that future sadness, and they are only knowing NOW---safety, comfort and love.

For me, when it is sudden---and I've had a heart hound (Nick) and heart cat (Daphne) that left me VERY suddenly---that shock ramps up the intensity of grief to whole new level. Not only was I dealing with their loss, but also with the feeling that my heart had suddenly been ripped out without warning. I was in no way prepared---mentally, emotionally, ANY way. I remember feeling absolutely desolate. Abandoned, angry, confused, even guilty, and feeling their absence so powerfully that is was an actual physical pain.

Other losses, while not really expected, came as less of a shock because of their age or illness. With Winnie, we knew, of course, that we would lose her. We always thought it would be to the osteo. But the stubborn old girl beat it, and in the end, it was her kidneys that stopped working. And she told me it was time---as surely as if she had spoken the words. So though I miss her greatly every day, I do find comfort in knowing that she left on her own terms, with everyone knowing that she had beaten the monster! And that can make me smile.

gallery_11446_3599_3864.jpg
Nancy, Mom to Evangelina and Kiva
Missing Lacey, Patsy, Buster, my heart dog Nick, Winnie, Pollyanna, Tess, my precious Lydia, Calvin Lee, my angel butterfly Laila, and kitties Lily, Sam and Simon
My Etsy shop: http://www.etsy.com/shop/Catsburgandhoundtown

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Guest EmilyAnne
Knowing that life is eternal makes it easier for us , we know they are in a better place where the Lion lies with the Lamb.
Amen to that! Oh it is great to be among other believers who know our beloved companions have souls and go back to their creator when they pass from their bodies!

 

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Guest Copemantx

Tough question, but having experienced both sides I lean towards not knowing. My 11yo female akita died unexpectedly. It was a shock to my system. I found out a year later that my male had cancer and only 2-3 months to live. For me, knowing that the bridge was near was far worse. It was always on my mind and affected every part of the time we spent together.

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  • 4 weeks later...
Guest EmilyAnne

I couldnt post too deeply on this earlier as one of our dogs recently passed on and it was still too tender of a topic for me. Alfalfa passed on Sept. 27th.

 

I knew the night before Alfalfa passed on that it was his last night. It was utter, complete and total agony for me. I never hurt so much in my life.

 

My preference is to know that it is not too far off, but I never ever want to know again which night is the last.

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Guest ArtoftheGryhnd

It's crappy both ways. I don't think one can escape the heartbreak that comes with the death of a beloved dog, no matter the method. The haunting questions are always there... :(

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Guest sirsmom

When we lost our grey/mix Lucy last spring to Cushing's with all its complications, I thought we were ready for it when it came but I was in such a state of shock for about 2 months afterward because she was only 9 and just months before was going on hikes with me etc. I don't think it matters if you know or aren't sure, the end is always awful.

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Guest sonomagirl

Having recently lost our grey, Red and a year ago, loosing our lab, Zoe, I can say that while it was stressful caretaking at the end of their lives, it was precious time spent. I am grateful for those last few weeks with them.

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Guest Greyhoundbaby

Boy - I answered "not sure". Shania passed away within 48 hours of getting sick. We don't know what from and we certainly weren't ready - she was one month away from being 11. On the other hand, I'm watching Tapsy have more and more trouble every day.

 

So, I'm honestly not sure.

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  • 5 months later...

I've lost pets (not dogs) both ways, and for me it's been easier when they've just passed on in their sleep. I might feel very different if I had needed to euthanize a pet in an emergency type situation--I would guess that would be the hardest way.

Beth, Petey (8 September 2018- ), and Faith (22 March 2019). Godspeed Patrick (28 April 1999 - 5 August 2012), Murphy (23 June 2004 - 27 July 2013), Leo (1 May 2009 - 27 January 2020), and Henry (10 August 2010 - 7 August 2020), you were loved more than you can know.

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Guest paulamariez

This is a tough one. I've gone through both kinds. Chief (our very first grey) woke up one morning, went out to poop and his back leg broke. We rushed him to the vet and found out he had bone cancer and we decided we'd put him down the next day after we came and said goodbye (I'm still tearing up writing this and it's been years) and ever loving Chief, let us off easy and passed in his sleep. Very sudden, unexpected and shocking to say the least. Then we lost Bandit after he was diagnosed with kidney failure and it was weeks of watching him go downhill. It was very traumatic and all I did was cry and feel sorry for him, wondering if he was suffering horribly or not. Then came the dilemma of when to let him go and of course the worst trauma of all, taking him to the vet and having him put down and watching him die right before our eyes, by our doing no less. Well after typing this, I think I'll change my vote from Not Sure to Rather Not Know. Because having to make the call and take them (Bandit and Nikki) and watch them die was oh, so horrible. I'm just sitting here crying my eyes out while writing this and remembering how horribly painful it was. Boy, do I miss those guys! Even after all these years, the pain does not subside.

 

Paula Marie, Tiger, Bueller and Domino and Chief, Bandit and Nikki at the Bridge.

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Guest RavenRacersMom

I am not sure. I lost my girl last night. I am second guessing myself constantly. I miss her dearly, but I could not bear to see her in pain. I hope and pray that she understands that and forgives me.

She was taken to the emerg. vet a week ago tonight, and now she is gone. It is like life is going in slow motion right now.

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Guest HeatherDemps

This is a tough one and I answered "not sure". Dempsey was diagnosed with osteo and we amputated and did chemo, but we know that is delaying the inevitable only. For a time there, it was hard to think straight or even breathe, knowing that we'll likely lose him this year. At times, it's agony "knowing" but we can also make sure we spoil him and truly treasure each day, not taking anything for granted. The only pet I've lost suddenly like that was a family cat- he threw a blod clot and it paralyzed him and my parents had to have him put to sleep so there was no chance for us to say goodbye. That was hard. I think it's just difficult all the way around when it comes to saying goodbye to our pets....

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It is so HARD, we lost our Champ 10-days after he had his dental, he never came out of the anthesia, and then he got a tumor and it burst in his belly and had internal bleeding. I have never ever got over this and I miss him so Much, IF I had only known that it was his last days. I thought he was getting better and the only thing that I do feel good about is we had taken him to get a ice cream the night before and that was his favorite, but we never knew it would be his last walk to get a ice cream. I miss him so Much and it has been almost 3 years this August.

darlenesiggy2.jpg
Darlene Mom to: Aladdin, Sophie ,Pongo, Jasmine, Relic Forever in our Hearts Champ at the Rainbow Bridge.

Let a greyhound race into your heart Adopt

Bay Area Greyhound Adoptions INC. Naples/ Fort Myers Chapter

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Guest goodtimekid
I am not sure. I lost my girl last night. I am second guessing myself constantly. I miss her dearly, but I could not bear to see her in pain. I hope and pray that she understands that and forgives me.

She was taken to the emerg. vet a week ago tonight, and now she is gone. It is like life is going in slow motion right now.

 

 

I am so sorry for your loss. Mere words are never enough. I know that your dear baby knows that your decision was the best for her. She is free of pain and waiting for you at the bridge. :bighug

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