When It's Time For The Bridge

[Guest IrskasMom]

To this Day every time I just talk about my Angel (it's been 1.5 Year) I cry and get all choked up. I hear his

scream's and see his sad Eye's . I am still having doubt's if we did the right thing . It came all to sudden.

Hopefully , he has forgiven us and is Playing with all the other Angels carefree and painfree.

 

 

Sheila....... I am so sorry about your Loss of Natasha .

Edited July 25, 2007 by IrskasMom

[Madeara]

I do not want to know. Please make it fast for the both of us. I love my Darius more than anything in the world and the thought of him ever leaving me rips me to pieces.

 

I remember as if it was today, Tony Stewart coming over, petting him and telling me how stunning he is. I remember as if it was this moment in time standing there, scritching his ears, him leaning on me, then hearing a thud, as he left me, his knees did not even bend, that is how sudden it was. I remember the total agony, and crying take me with you Runner, I want to go with you, I feel the pain writing this as intensely as I felt it when he left, and yes the tears are still flowing. The only consolation is that he went doing what he loved most, leaning on me, and had the day been any different, I probably would have been doing laundry and come home to find him, at least I was with him.

 

Oh the agony I just lost it here at work.

[Guest vahoundlover]

In reading this thread over and over, and still not sure of the answer, the outcome for me, is the lesson I learned with Runner to cherish each moment as if it may be the last, for it just may be. Whether or not our pets have something that we KNOW is terminal, life is terminal, so treat them with the love, kindness, and respect they deserve each and every moment, and cherish the very second we have now, for we are now making tomorrows memories, I try to make them all good ones.

 

You are so right! Sometimes we need to be reminded not to get so caught up in " day to day life"

[Burpdog]

I put not sure. As most of you know, Rob Roy made #16 I sent off since November of 1998. No, it does not get easier, it gets harder. I cannot schedule the appointment. I sometimes have a day in mind and make up my mind the morning I get up. It's easier (not easy) when the decision is quite clear, like Rob Roy. He was in so much pain all I could think of was getting him out of pain (he went to the ER clinic).

 

Hospice care takes a lot out of you. Heart--I was ready two months before she was and I had the confirmation of two vets that were treating her that it was not time. I remember doing hospice on two at once--SieSie & Shadow and sending them off the same day.

 

I think of my parents and what a shock it was, however, how blessed I didn't have to see them in hospice. My Dad went to sleep in his chair and my Mom went to sleep and didn't wake up.

 

In some ways, not knowing is a shock however you don't have to see the "I want to live, I don't care how", but then there is "I should have done(s)" this and that. So it depends on whether one does live like we should--that every day could be our (or their's) last day.

 

Hopefully this makes some sense. When I think of my bridge kids, the burden can be very large......

[LBass]

I'm honestly not sure which I think would be easier. I've experienced both situations and they seemed to me to be equally hard and, for me, not particularly different in terms of grief.

 

I can look back now at myself with a bit of amusement over this...as my beloved dachshund, Claire, aged into her mid to late teens (she died just before she would have turned 17) you'd think I'd have been prepared mentally and emotionally to lose her, but I really wasn't. I just telling myself, "Well, you know you'll probably just have another year or so with Claire. She's getting pretty elderly and frail." I was still just as shocked as I could be when I finally lost her--I'd really expected that I'd have "just another year" with her. Love is sometimes blind and completely illogical.

[Ragsysmum]

I don't know which would be best as I've never had one that went suddenly. All the seniors we've had have gradually gone downhill and in each case we have had to decide when the time had come to let go. It's not easy but I try to be really objective about this and never let them stay a day too long just because I can't bear the parting.

[sweetdogs]

Once I knew my cat Mona had cancer, everyday was sad. Everyday I worried if she was getting worse, would she eat that day, would today be the last day. I would rather not have a pet suffer physically with the added burden of my sadness. I will be sad whenever they leave - I don't think I'm able to be not sad before they leave. I do let them know how important they are to me each and every day. I think that's the best I can do.

 

My condolences on your loss of Natasha.

[Guest ss556]

Iwill NEVER be prepared for Alan's passing. I've cried since last summer when he was diagnosed with kidney disease and high blood pressure. It's a waste of tears now, I know, but I can't help it. I've lost SO many of my family and lost my parents when I was 13 and 30. So I know pain. My Alan is like a son to me and I have two sons. I just want to be the last person he sees before he crosses, if I can. Otherwise, I'd like no suffering, no torment and maybe have him pass in his sleep in the future. I know I will never be the same.

[giadog]

When my ABD Bailey died earlier this summer, we knew for about a week beforehand that she could go at any time. It was incredibley difficult for me to know, and I cried every day, but had we not known that, my parents wouldn't have made it a point to bring her along when they came to visit me and I never would have had a chance to see her one more time before she died. For me, that weekend she got to visit us was invaluable, and I'm glad we knew about her condition. It didn't make the death any easier, but it did afford us opportunities we otherwise would have taken for granted.

[Bevd]

As the others have said, it's a very tough question. I voted that I'd rather know, so that I had some time to 'prepare' myself. I know you can't really prepare and knowing it's going to happen doesn't lessen the pain of the actual event and the loss in any way at all but I think knowing that it's coming allows you the chance to maybe do the little things you've been meaning to do like take extra pics, maybe cut a lock of hair, go for trips to favourite places and give favourite foods (if thats practical) and it also gives the opportunity to decide what you want to happen 'afterwards' (burial, individual cremation etc).

 

The ridiculous thing is, even with my totally healthy dogs (particularly my heart dog, Sprout) I know it's coming at some point and even the merest fleeting thought makes my eyes fill up and no amount of preparation as above will make the pain any less terrible when the day does come.

 

I'm very sorry for your recent loss

[TinyMityMo]

Sheila, this is the first I heard about Natasha (I was out of town all weekend). My sincere condolences.

 

I know with our last dog, Scooter, a black lab, we just came home from work one day and he was dead. He wasn't sick or anything so it was a bit of a shock. Ultimately I think it was better that way though than to watch him go slowly downhill or to struggle with sad choices.

 

[win4profit]

This is sad, but this is the first time I have voted in a poll. For me, I would rather not know and have the decision made for me. When we lost Siren, it was sudden. We had no idea something so serious was wrong with her and the call knocked me on my backside. My DH had to pick me up at work and we drove to the vet in hysterics.

With Profit, we knew she was in pain but knowing when she was ready to go to the bridge was the most difficult decision we have ever had to make. We struggled for weeks trying every option to offer her comfort. I hope we never have to make such a decision again. I question to this day if we waited too long or if we could have done more.

For me, I want the decision made for me.

[Guest SillyDog]

My greyhounds are my 2nd & 3rd dogs. I lost my 1st dog very unexpectedly. Given her health problem -- hemangiosarcoma that had metastasized to her spleen, liver & heart and caused a blood vessel rupture in her abdomen -- putting her to sleep was the easiest decision I ever made, but the one with the worst consequences. While I don't want to go through that again, I also don't want to go through a protracted illness and the waiting and worry involved with that. I answered "not sure" because I just can't make a choice between two options that are, in the end, equally painful.

[Guest SusanP]

We lost our Simon so suddenly last night--just a normal day with her acting normally, and then disaster. As she was not in pain, we did spend plenty of time deciding and consulting and loving on her at the vet's. We even had time to stuff her full of cheese and peanutbutter. But it was so sudden, we're in shock as well as grief. The grief is always bad no matter what, but I just wasn't as fully prepared to deal with it as I think I might have been..even though it was clear for a long, long time that Simon was going rather downhill. Just never expected it so soon. It's hard to know what to do now that she's gone...

[MP_the4pack]

I lost both Brindle and Topaz suddenly. Brindle without ANY warning at all, and Topaz was sick, but I was told 6 months to a year....she was gone 4 days later when I went for a second opinion.

 

 

Now although Pearl is still with me, she has health issues and many times I have had situations occur that led me to believe she was going. That has been absolute hell.

 

 

I feel cheated when I lost both so fast, but living with the thought that I was losing someone for days on end was almost impossible. I cried non-stop.

 

So, although I'm not really sure, I think sudden is better than knowing.

 

 

 

[Guest Snowy8]

That's a tough one. I didn't know Pegasus was going to die suddenly at 10...I sort of suspected Brogan was going to have to be put to sleep because of the infection. Didn't know Bool had cancer & didn't know the akita was going to kill Sadie-Grey...Actually I don't think either is easier.

 

[Blitzen_n_Simone]

Just lost Blitzen on Father's day. His front leg snapped from oesteo and the choice was quick and clear and merciful.

 

With Simone, I had a month to say goodbye.

 

Both are absolutely awful because there is no such thing as a "gentle closing".

 

[Annette]

I answered as unsure.

 

I have lost three pups suddenly:

 

My childhood toy poodle, Tinker, who came into our family's lives when I was 3 years old. We grew up together. I am pretty sure she had parvo. She

died next to me in the back seat of the family car on the way to the vet. Tinker was 13 years old.

 

Our (Roy and I) first Greyhound, Wheat. He came into our lives before anyone really was adopting greyhounds as pets. He was retired not only from

racing, but also from being a blood donor at Colorado State University. We didn't know how strong they were and they made special collars just for sight

hounds. Wheat was hit by a car. He was only 4 years old.

 

I don't think either Tinker or Wheat suffered much before they died. If I have to lose a family member suddenly, I truly hope there is little or no

suffering. I don't think I could survive if I would have to witness another "child" die a horrible death. I know Scarlett suffered. I saw the fear in her

eyes when if first started happening. I don't know who was screaming louder, her or me. It probably was over in less than a minute, but it felt like

forever. I felt relief when her body finally stopped convulsing and then horrible grief when the blood poured out of her mouth because I knew she was

dead.

 

With our other "kids" we knew the time was coming.

 

Icabod, our second greyhound and also a retired blood donor, had a tumor rupture on his spleen. He had hemangiosarcoma. He survived eleven

months post surgery (with the aid of chemo). We were told probably less than 3 months, but as much as 6 months. Icabod had the opportunity to

play and run around in that amount of time. A week before we had him put down, he started showing signs of pain. We rushed him to Urbana and the vet

confirmed the cancer had spread to his spine. Our local vet came to the house and put him to sleep. He was 11 years old.

 

Spooky was a black tomcat Roy adopted when he got his first job out of college. He became my son when we moved in together. Talk about not

approving another person in his life and his dad's life. Spooky wouldn't give me the time of day when I first moved in. I was trespassing in his territory.

He eventually became my chest weight at bed time. He would climb on me and lay his chin on my chin. He was such a sweetie. Icabod and Spooky were

the best of buds. They never cuddled, but they played with each other. When the vet came to the house to put Icabod to sleep, Spooky seemed to be

watching in disbelief. When Roy and the vet carried Icabod out on his blanket to his grave, Spooky ran to the window and let out the most haunting and

pathetic scream I ever heard come out of a cat. Spooky always seemed to have a breathing problem. Eventually we took him to the emergency clinic.

The vet there couldn't make a proper prognosis, but he suspected throat cancer. Spooky died at the vet's office in an "oxygen tent". We think he was

13 or 14 years old.

 

Taffy was our first girl kitty. She was why we had to get married . She was born under my parent's porch not long before we got married. Some

people moved out of the neighborhood and left behind a pregnant cat. Taffy was a "scaredy cat". She was afraid of us a good part of the time. Spooky

actually tried to kill her when we brought her home. He would grab her by the neck and shake. Because of that, we had to keep her separated from

the rest of the family until she got bigger and could defend herself. Unfortunately, that is probably the biggest reason she was a spook. Taffy was

getting old. She had diabetes and other health issues. We tried treating her ailments, but she would then just hide for days and not eat. We couldn't

let her live that way, so we discontinued all her treatment and let her live out her life on her terms. She eventually went blind. A couple weeks after

that happened she had a stroke, and that is when we had her put to sleep. Taffy was 17 1/2 years old.

 

Now we are trying to mentally prepare ourselves for losing our two oldest kids. Rhett is 13 1/2 years old. He has LP and LS. He has his good days and bad. As long as he acts like the "light isn't on in the attic", we know he is still happy. And believe me, the light hasn't come on yet . I do believe Rhett aged a lot that night on the elevator. I think he sometimes wishes Dixie was Scarlett. We also have Garfield, who is a littermate to Taffy. Garfield came to live with us when my mom suddenly died in 1998. She has always been part of the family. Garfield started out as my "sister" and now is my little girl. She is approaching the age of 19 and is in relatively good health for a kitty that old. She gets pills for highblood pressure and I am sure her kidneys are aging. Garfield spends her days and nights mostly sleeping on our bed. She is the one kitty that can out sleep a Greyhound .

 

I hate playing the "waiting game". All you can do is love your "kids", give them all that they need because they give back ten fold, and keep them happy. When they are gone, you just have to remember they are just a memory away. And sometimes you may have to grab at the happy memories when you lose them suddenly.

 

Annette

[greyhoundlov]

I think it's probably easier on the human (and maybe the hound, too) to not know. Having to make the decision for them is so hard and you always second guess yourself...even years later.

 

We went through this with China and osteo. We didn't know she was sick. I touched a bump on her shoulder and she screamed. This was around 7:30 in the morning. We rushed her to the vet. X-rays showed that two of her ribs were broken from the osteo. She was gone by 9:30.

 

We were numb from shock, then guilt, then a myriad of emotions that we still feel 7 years later. Shock because we weren't expecting it, then guilt because our girl was sick and we didn't recognize it, and then the thoughts that roll around and around in your head for days, especially when you are trying to go to sleep.

 

Missy, the pug, was going downhill for a long time and we knew we would have to let her go. When we made the decision, it broke our hearts. We knew we had done what we could to make her comfortable during her last months, but we still kept second-guessing as to whether we should have let her go sooner or tried to help her for a few more days/week/months.

 

I don't think there is a pat answer to your question. I just know that many of us have been there and our hearts share your pain.

Edited July 28, 2007 by greyhoundlov

[LakeshoreGreys]

We've had it both ways. With advance warning, those last few hours were agonizing for me, as I knew what was coming and tried to make the most of the last bits of time. Plus all of the second guessing, etc. By the time everything was over, it was almost a relief.

 

But without any prior knowledge, there isn't much of a choice, so you don't have that battle so much. Then it turns into a private battle of "if onlys"... If only I knew, I could have bought him his favorite snack before we sent him to the bridge, or napped with him one last time, etc.

 

Beau was special in that when we realized he wasn't going to recover well from his stroke, we had an afternoon of knowing. We even took him for his favorite sandwich right before going to the vet. He didn't want to touch it. That made us feel better knowing that it was the right decision.

 

It's painful no matter how it happens.

[NeylasMom]

The ridiculous thing is, even with my totally healthy dogs (particularly my heart dog, Sprout) I know it's coming at some point and even the merest fleeting thought makes my eyes fill up and no amount of preparation as above will make the pain any less terrible when the day does come.

 

So true. I have always been this way about Neyla and with Zuri's scare yesterday I know I will now do it more with him as well. The thought alone of the pain of losing them is almost enough to make me ask myself why I adopted them. Of course I know the reasons that make it WELL worth it, but when you're thinking about that type of loss it's tough. People sharing their stories hear have me in tears.

 

Anyway, I don't know the answer. I think what I take from this thread more than anything is, as others have said, to make sure that each day you're doing your best for your dogs so that if you do lose them suddenly you don't have any regrets. I have been feeling a bit overcommitted lately and think my dogs have been getting less attention as a result. If yesterday wasn't enough, this should be a reminder that no matter how stressful my day has been, I still need to take the time to give them both some individual attention, do some training with them, etc.

 

I'm truly sorry for your loss.

 

Jen

[MarcR]

This says it for me better than I can: http://www.galtx.org/joys.shtml

[greysandmollie]

I have had both experiences. They have been equally painful experiences but in much different ways.

 

I lost Rascal after 15 months of battling Lymphoma. It took an emotional toll on me. Of course I would do it all over again in a minute to be able to spend some more time with him. He slowly went down hill but wasn't in pain or so miserable I thought it was time. I was constantly cleaning (he was incontinent and no bowel control from FCE) and constantly cooking something for him. I reveled in the days where he seemed so happy. We would take short walks..car rides. I had tons of time to think about it and it ripped my heart out the day he couldn't get up and we went for the last trip to the vet.

 

Bounty was having some minor issues that I could explain and we tried to treat. Then in the time span of a week it was determined that he had a mass in his bladder, an enlarged prostate and his lungs were filled with growths. He struggled more and more to breathe and we had to say goodbye within a few days of official diagnosis. I had my heart ripped out and still a month later haven't been able to get my arms wrapped around losing him. Much different pain. Sux equally as much.

[Guest kelli123]

I was told my baby would die with in a few months a couple days ago.. he has bone cancer in his rear leg that has spread to his lungs... its just killing us .. i would have rather not new what was to come in the future.. its like getting your palms read who wants to no ..Not me.. i sleep on the floor with him crying and rubbing him wondering how we will get through this .. I look in his eyes and he tells me it will be ok Mom , dont cry for me ... I dont know how i will make it, im a nervouse reck .im afraid when he goes out side that i dont want him running for fear he could break that leg.. and the end will be here ... I DONT WANT HIM TO GO ... I pray every day for a a peaceful end

[Guest SusanP]

Now that my Simon has been gone a week, I'm changing my mind. This week has been awful, but if we'd known in advance she was dying, we'd have been suffering right along all that time as well. As bad as this is, because it was sudden, we have only the after death period of pain, not before as well as after.

 

But either way, it stinks.