Jump to content

Why Can't I Write


Guest MySkye
 Share

Recommended Posts

Guest MySkye

Damn it, why can't I write something beautiful for you my beloved Skye when you left me to the ugliest of OS just a year ago? Why can't the words flow from a heart that breaks with every rise of the sun because you are not here with me where you belong! Why can't I figure out how to let you go or at best how to deal with the hole in my life since your precious body betrayed us both? I love you as much as anyone on this site loves their pups and yet I can't find the words to pay tribute to you. So I sit quietly still so lost in the grief and the pain of not having you around. Oh, life has moved on as it always does, but I still find myself back in a meeting when the vet called and my life was changed forever. I had an hour's drive between work and the vet that day and all I thought about is how I was going to end your life. Me! The person who carried you up the ferry stairs because they scared you whenever we went across the sound. Me! The person who lied at your side when the storms came, took days off work to boot! Me! The person you snuggled up next to for 5 years night after night, only being apart when I had to travel. Me! The person whose life you changed with a love and an understanding of everything complex and simple that I am. Me! The person you trusted most in this world to protect you. Me! The person who nodded at the vet when I was barely able to let you slip from our side over. Me! The person who wept in that kennel until the warmth left your body. Me! The person who is still trying out how to love you best from so far away.

 

I am still here Skye.

 

I still love you.

 

I am still your mommy.

 

You are still my girl.

 

Forgive me,

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am so sorry. I know the pain you feel, even after a year it is still fresh. May you find peace and remember the wonderful memories. Cherish the great times and remember you did what you did out of love. That is what we are supposed to do for these wonderful creatures.

scootersig_A4.jpg

 

Pam with greys Avril, Dalton & Zeus & Diddy the dachshund & Miss Buzz the kitty

Devotion, Jingle Bells, Rocky, Hans, Harbor, Lennon, NoLa, Scooter, Naomi and Scout at the bridge

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest rsqdogsmom

:crying

 

My heart aches for you in your grief.

You have said what is in your heart.

That eloquence is all you need.

 

It has been almost 9 months since I lost my Heart-Dog, Murphy.

She would have been 14 in Sept.

I miss her as much today as I did the day she left.

She was my baby.

She will always be my baby. :heart

 

You are NOT alone in your sorrow.

Unfortunately, there are FAR too many of us over the last year

whose hearts are breaking right along with yours. :(

 

Take comfort in your memories.

Love never dies. :paw:brokenheart

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest DoneRacin

Oh boy, through my own tears, I have to say your tribute to Skye was endearing and heartfelt, and probably not even meant to be a tribute, but it was just beautiful. I say you did a remarkable job writing what you are feeling. Skye is loved, and it is that love that helped you make the right decision, just as I did 1 week ago for my Mattie Girl. Yet I still have times too, when I ask my girl to forgive me. At times like this, it is hard to remember...but their fate IS always safest in our loving hands. Your Skye and my Mattie Girl are playing together right now, and they will come running to us when we get there, be assured.

 

I know your pain.

 

Hugs,

 

Donna

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Bones_Sox63

I think you did just fine, my feelings are still raw and you had my eyes watering, I know just how you feel, and that you will never stop loving, nor will the hole leave, you just get used to it being there.

 

I'm sorry for you acheing

 

Shawn

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Gogh4It

I think you just spoke from the heart...where it hurts the worse.

I don't think she ever doubted your love for her & your loyalty & devotion.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

With tears running down my face...all I can say is "I know" :grouphug:f_pink

Usethisone.jpg

Patti-Mommy of Lady Sophia 7-28-92 - 8-3-04... LaceyLaine 8-2-94-12-5-07...

Flash Gordon 7-14-99 - 8-29-09... BrookLynne...Pavé Maria... and 18 Bridge Kids.

WATCHING OVER US~SOPHIA~QUEENIE~LACEY LAINE~

CODY ANGELO~FLASH GORDON.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am still here Skye.

 

I still love you.

 

I am still your mommy.

 

You are still my girl.

 

Those are the only words that count, and there's nothing to forgive.

 

Hugs.

Star aka Starz Ovation (Ronco x Oneco Maggie*, litter #48538), Coco aka Low Key (Kiowa Mon Manny x Party Hardy, litter # 59881), and mom in Illinois
We miss Reko Batman (Trouper Zeke x Marque Louisiana), 11/15/95-6/29/06, Rocco the thistledown whippet, 04/29/93-10/14/08, Reko Zema (Mo Kick x Reko Princess), 8/16/98-4/18/10, the most beautiful girl in the whole USA, my good egg Joseph aka Won by a Nose (Oneco Cufflink x Buy Back), 09/22/2003-03/01/2013, and our gentle sweet Gidget (Digitizer, Dodgem by Design x Sobe Mulberry), 1/29/2006-11/22/2014, gone much too soon. Never forgetting CJC's Buckshot, 1/2/07-10/25/10.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

She knows your heart, she hears your heart. You don't need any special words for her to know... :f_red

 

and the ones you wrote are the ones in all our hearts, when we have faced that similar moment...

My boys, together again...

 

cedarlodge2010027_zpsc250b3bf-1_zps9f4d4

 

A hui hou kakou, my loves

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest luluaz

Thank you for putting into words what I cannot say myself. I lost my Marie in March and have not been able to stop this hurt. She was, like your Skye, my sweet girl and I miss her so-

These beautiful creatures, look what gifts they bring us, even in death-

 

Peace.

 

Lisa

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have been there too. The nod at the vet is the hardest thing I ever had to do. You did right by your hound and continue to do right be her by writing such a beautiful tribute.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Your words are heartwrenching, yet beautiful, as your love for Skye shines through. She holds no judgments and is pure love incarnate, forever. :beatheart Acknowledge your own judgments that you're holding onto, lovingly forgive yourself and find peace with what is. :heart

Jeanne with Remington & Scooter the cat
....and Beloved Bridge Angels Sandee, Shari, Wells, Derby, Phoenix, Jerry Lee and Finnian.....
If tears could build a stairway, and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven
and bring you home again.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You! The person who gave her the greatest gift she could receive!

I agree! Lori, she knew you loved her and I know it doesn't make what you are feeling easier but you must know that you have nothing to be forgiven for... I hope one of my favorite poems helps. I read this many times after making the same decision for my puppers... :grouphug Thank you for sharing...

The Last Battle

If it should be that I grow frail and weak

And pain should keep me from my sleep,

Then will you do what must be done,

For this -- the last battle -- can't be won.

You will be sad I understand,

But don't let grief then stay your hand,

For on this day, more than the rest,

Your love and friendship must stand the test.

We have had so many happy years,

You wouldn't want me to suffer so.

When the time comes, please, let me go.

Take me to where to my needs they'll tend,

Only, stay with me till the end

And hold me firm and speak to me

Until my eyes no longer see.

I know in time you will agree

It is a kindness you do to me.

Although my tail its last has waved,

From pain and suffering I have been saved.

Don't grieve that it must be you

Who has to decide this thing to do;

We've been so close -- we two -- these years,

Don't let your heart hold any tears.

 

-- Unknown

Edited by K9_Lady

Karen and Greyhound Amy Calibration Forever in my Heart

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest SYMBASMOMMY

Bless your heart....you wrote eloquently about your Skye...we all can see your love and devotion....prayers to help you get through this pain....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...