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Day One


Opals_mom
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It was so hard to get out of bed this morning. I took something to help me sleep last night because I didn't think I could stop crying long enough to sleep. There was no sweet face to wake up to. No gimpy puppy to let out to go potty. No ears to pet as I brushed my teeth.

I did pretty well at work. Thank god there was a lot to do. I started to crack a few times. My desk is pretty much in the main hallway so everyone knows how I feel about my girls. I have one picture of my husband and I and about ten of the girls.

I went shopping with a friend after work because I didn't want to come home to an empty house. I managed to make it most of the way home before I lost it. I SWEAR I heard her whine as I came in the door. How gut wrenching :( All I feel is terrible guilt! I wish I would have spent more time with her. I wish I would have taken more pictues. I wish I had kissed her a million more times :( On my way to the mall I smelled her in the wind. I have so much guilt because I think I could have been a better mom.

Here is another of my favs. (keep in mind she was sick at the time - that's why she is so skinny)

Opie - I love you sweet girl!

Missing my bridge greys Opal and Eden and cat Bailey. Mom to Missy the Super Mutt and recent foster failure of Miley to mini-mutt.

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It was so hard to get out of bed this morning. I took something to help me sleep last night because I didn't think I could stop crying long enough to sleep. There was no sweet face to wake up to. No gimpy puppy to let out to go potty. No ears to pet as I brushed my teeth.

I did pretty well at work. Thank god there was a lot to do. I started to crack a few times. My desk is pretty much in the main hallway so everyone knows how I feel about my girls. I have one picture of my husband and I and about ten of the girls.

I went shopping with a friend after work because I didn't want to come home to an empty house. I managed to make it most of the way home before I lost it. I SWEAR I heard her whine as I came in the door. How gut wrenching :( All I feel is terrible guilt! I wish I would have spent more time with her. I wish I would have taken more pictues. I wish I had kissed her a million more times :( On my way to the mall I smelled her in the wind. I have so much guilt because I think I could have been a better mom.

Here is another of my favs. (keep in mind she was sick at the time - that's why she is so skinny)

Opie - I love you sweet girl!

Missing my bridge greys Opal and Eden and cat Bailey. Mom to Missy the Super Mutt and recent foster failure of Miley to mini-mutt.

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It was so hard to get out of bed this morning. I took something to help me sleep last night because I didn't think I could stop crying long enough to sleep. There was no sweet face to wake up to. No gimpy puppy to let out to go potty. No ears to pet as I brushed my teeth.

I did pretty well at work. Thank god there was a lot to do. I started to crack a few times. My desk is pretty much in the main hallway so everyone knows how I feel about my girls. I have one picture of my husband and I and about ten of the girls.

I went shopping with a friend after work because I didn't want to come home to an empty house. I managed to make it most of the way home before I lost it. I SWEAR I heard her whine as I came in the door. How gut wrenching :( All I feel is terrible guilt! I wish I would have spent more time with her. I wish I would have taken more pictues. I wish I had kissed her a million more times :( On my way to the mall I smelled her in the wind. I have so much guilt because I think I could have been a better mom.

How long does this last :(

Opie - I love you sweet girl!

post-9637-1154665471_thumb.jpg

Missing my bridge greys Opal and Eden and cat Bailey. Mom to Missy the Super Mutt and recent foster failure of Miley to mini-mutt.

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Guest Tenderhearts

Jamie, I feel your pain. I can't tell you how long it will last. I know when I had to let Bart go, I was devastated. I didn't last very long until I had another grey, Lori Ann, in this house. I knew I could not replace Bart, but I so missed all the wonderful attributes of this breed. My gentle giant was gone, and God worked in my life through a series of circumstances that brought Lori Ann into my home. She is my heart healer, my grand old dame, my sassy saucy gal. She's quite the opposite of what my Bart was, but that was just what I needed :wub:

 

I wish I could ease your pain. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Opal knew just how very much she was loved and cherished, and you gave her the greatest, most unselfish gift a human can give their beloved animal companion. You released her from her pain. God bless you :grouphug :grouphug :grouphug

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Guest DaffyToons

:sad1 I know your pain as well, and I'm so, so sorry. My heart breaks for you. :brokenheart

 

Everyone is different, but I always felt that a loss of one was an opportunity for another one to find a forever home. My thoughts are with you.

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Guest multiplicity

:grouphug It is sooo hard, I know. I still (a year later) feel guilty about not being a better mom for my Tex. He was a sweet boy and he deserved the world on a silver platter...and a mom who understood greyhounds better (he was my first). I knew I wasn't a bad mom, I just wish I was better one for him. I am sure it is the same for you - that you were a greyt mom but still wanted to give Opal more.

 

The healing journey can be a long one. I am still devastated after a year. He was my heart boy. I stayed home for a week and cried on his bed...I was truly a mess. You may take awhile too...I found coming home to an empty (no greyhounds) house unbearable too. I would cry before I turned the car off. DH and I knew we had to bring more greys home to help us heal. Our 3 (yes 3) came home 1 month after losing Tex. Some people find that they need to love another grey right after a loss of theirs to help their hearts mend and others wait a long time before they are able to welcome another grey in to their family...everyone is different. My boys' love has helped me soooo much. I just recently lost my kitty and my greys help keep me going...they are such gentle souls...I love them so much.

 

I found GT for comforting too. People here understand the bonds made and the heart break of having a sick grey and having to say goodbye even when you are not ready. Talking about it with people here and with other grey parents really helped me not feel so isolated in my time of mourning.You can share all of your wonderful memories and stories about Opal here.

 

I am so sorry for your loss. I hope your healing journey is a gentle one.

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Guest argolola

Thank for for sharing the pic of your beautiful angel. You were a wonderful mother to her and you were her whole world. She would not want you to be sad, but of course it's impossible not to be.

 

Maybe you could do something in her name (like make a donation to help a special needs grey, etc.) When my daughter died 22 years ago, I sent a donation to the Gideons to place Bibles in her name, in memory.

 

Your fellow GTers are here for you. You will be in my prayers.

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What a gorgeous Angel Girl. I also know your pain. I guess the best advice I can give is to take one day at a time...and picture your Angel Baby young and whole and happy...and always watching over you. I am so sorry... :grouphug:grouphug:grouphug:grouphug

Usethisone.jpg

Patti-Mommy of Lady Sophia 7-28-92 - 8-3-04... LaceyLaine 8-2-94-12-5-07...

Flash Gordon 7-14-99 - 8-29-09... BrookLynne...Pavé Maria... and 18 Bridge Kids.

WATCHING OVER US~SOPHIA~QUEENIE~LACEY LAINE~

CODY ANGELO~FLASH GORDON.

 

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i'm so sorry. i know how you feel, and it is just awful :grouphug

that is a great picture...did opal and the cat get along well from the start?

siggy_robinw_tbqslg.jpg
Xavi the galgo and Allen the cat. Missing Iker the galgo ?-Feb.9/19, Treasure (USS Treasure) April 12/01-May 6/13, Phoenix (Hallo Top Son) Dec.14/99-June 4/11 and Loca (Reko Swahili) Oct.9/95 - June 1/09.

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I'm so sorry your precious girl had to leave you.

Star aka Starz Ovation (Ronco x Oneco Maggie*, litter #48538), Coco aka Low Key (Kiowa Mon Manny x Party Hardy, litter # 59881), and mom in Illinois
We miss Reko Batman (Trouper Zeke x Marque Louisiana), 11/15/95-6/29/06, Rocco the thistledown whippet, 04/29/93-10/14/08, Reko Zema (Mo Kick x Reko Princess), 8/16/98-4/18/10, the most beautiful girl in the whole USA, my good egg Joseph aka Won by a Nose (Oneco Cufflink x Buy Back), 09/22/2003-03/01/2013, and our gentle sweet Gidget (Digitizer, Dodgem by Design x Sobe Mulberry), 1/29/2006-11/22/2014, gone much too soon. Never forgetting CJC's Buckshot, 1/2/07-10/25/10.

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Guest jettcricket

....I know how incredibly difficult it is in losing a pet that you loved so very much. :( When I lost my sweet Chance to osteo I wouldn't allow my DH to put his crate away or put his water bowls away....to me by doing that it just would have been so final. It was all that I had left of my baby....that and memories. I felt both sorrow and anger. Why? Why did God have to take my baby? He had just turned 5. It was so damn unfair. He was a wonderful boy....he was my first.

 

Don't beat yourself up...you were a wonderful Mom to Opal and she knew how much you loved her - no doubt. There are just some things that are out of our control. As hard a time that your going thru embrace her memories. She would have wanted it that way. My heart goes out to you....God bless and be kind to yourself. Please know that you are not alone in this - we all grieve with you. What a beautiful girl.... :grouphug

Edited by jettcricket
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:grouphug You take as long as you need. :f_white It is very hard when we love them so... Opal knew how much you loved her and YES, that you were the best Mom Opal could ever want! I know in Grief we tend to blame ourselves for something we had no control over... But there is a wonderful group of people on this board for you and reach out to everyone of them! Opal will always be at your side and in your heart forever. :paw:heart

Karen and Greyhound Amy Calibration Forever in my Heart

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I am so sorry for your loss of Opal. I went through that pain a year ago and it was so intense and so terrible. I did realize though that Devotion wanted me to be happy and that there were other greys out there that really needed me.

I lost Devotion from osteo nine days after he turned 7. I felt like my heart was bleeding it was that intense. Not to mention our son was away at camp but 3 days before camp was over my husband and I decided we didn't want Devotion to be in any more pain so we let him go to the bridge. I could have kept him around until our son came home but it would have been at Devotion's cost and I could never do that to him. You did the same for Opal. Because of your incredible love for her you released her and that is a beautiful gift she is thankful for. I think it is wonderful that we are able to do this for our precious pets. It is the most difficult decision but the final act of love.

Opal will never leave you. Her forever home is now in your heart and will remain alive forever through memories. I still get shaky and sad sometimes about Devotion but we loved each other and because of him, I am "devoted" to this breed. We adopted a young girl and brought home an old senior who by the way could be Opal's twin. I gasped when I saw the picture because we too have a cat who snuggles with our greys.

Time will help. I don't know if I believe we heal but I do know you get used to the idea that they are gone and it becomes familiar to not have them there. I smile a lot when I see something that reminds me of Devotion or when one or our greys acts like him.

Grief is an incredibly intense journey we all have to take at some point. Be good to yourself and I pray for comfort and peace to fill you in the days ahead. Opal will watch over you.

scootersig_A4.jpg

 

Pam with greys Avril, Dalton & Zeus & Diddy the dachshund & Miss Buzz the kitty

Devotion, Jingle Bells, Rocky, Hans, Harbor, Lennon, NoLa, Scooter, Naomi and Scout at the bridge

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I didn't read any of the posts b/c after I clicked I saw this was 'remberance' but I wanted to say... I LOVE that pic!!! It's so cute and if Opal was anything in life like she is in the pic, I'm sure you will miss her greatly.

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Guest greysonly

I am so sorry for the pain you are feeling :grouphug I still cry over my Vinnie and it has been a year he has been gone. I too adopted another greyhound in Vinnie's honor. I know he would have wanted me find a home for another like i did with him. But everyone needs there own time to grieve. I know I missed him so much and so did Jazz that I had to have another grey around. So I truly believe Vinnie sent me Marley. Cuz Marley reminds me of Vinnie so much :) I hope your pain will ease in time.

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Guest gracesmom

I am 4 weeks out from letting my Gracie go and I still cry everyday. The pain sometimes seems to engulf me. I agree with what others have said, some find it comforting to give another grey a home. Others, myself included, can barely bring myself to look at another dog much less consider letting another one into my heart. Your mind will tell you which you need to help with your grief.

You just have to believe the pain will lessen. I tell myself that over and over every day. I don't know what your beliefs are about the hereafter, but for me, I find incredible comfort in knowing that she is happy and running and playing again. They will always be in hearts and thoughts.

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Guest vahoundlover

:grouphug:grouphug:grouphug:grouphug

 

I'm sending you a million hugs...Losing your best friend is soooo hard to deal with...I still cry over Dolly...It does get better with time but the pain will always be a part of you, hopefully the good memories will help ease the pain you are feeling. Dolly left me so fast, one minute she's fine and the next thing I knew we were rushing her to the Evet....I have a lot of *wish I hads* too...We had 5 other dogs so that helps with the coming home and if it wasn't for them I'd probably be in a loony bin... We also adopted a broodie :wub: on Mothers day weekend and I know Dolly sent her to me.. ...Miss Muffet needed us as much as we needed her..

 

Bless you and may God help dry your tears and help you through this terrible time. Always remember Opal is a part of you and will always be with you in your heart and memories and one day you will be reunited at the Bridge.

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The picture is beautiful. I know your pain since I lost my old man one week ago today. Since then I have found that sharing his pictures with people makes me less sad. And it reminds me that I was blessed to have his company.

 

I hope you find peace in your heart soon.

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Guest BradyzMommy

:grouphug

I am sorry for the loss of your special girl. Thank you for loving her so very much.

Edited by BradyzMommy
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Guest OnecoRose

I am so sorry, and feel your pain as well. Opal was very loved by you and always will be. I have been through it, lost my lst girlie to osteo, she was 11.5. I will always miss her, and still have all her pictures out. Run free sweet angel. :brokenheart:brokenheart

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Guest Gogh4It

All I can say is ditto...

Its like someone just cuts your air supply off. Someone takes this huge boot & kicks you in the chest. Everything is a blur. NOTHING helps.

Sending loads & loads of hugs your way! :bighug

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Guest how888

My heartfelt sympathy in your loss of your beloved angel. I lost Howie in a matter of 4 days after his perfectly healthy vet visit. I was devastated when he passed over so quickly. I was fortunate to have found greytalk through Howie's littermates" mom and this board pulled me through. I too heard him crying when I came home from work, I cried so much myself I ended up at the E.R. I couldn't breathe. Grief is hard to explain to some who have never been through a loss before. It is a long hard journey but finding Nike helped me out a great deal and I felt Howie had sent him to me. I turned on greytalk for support and saw someone who had a website with greys that needed homes. I saw Nike on there and at that moment my computer froze for the first time. I swore it was a sign from over that rainbow. Your journey will be tough one but know we are all here for you day and night and many of us have been through a loss like you have. In my heart I believe we will see them again Somewhere Over That Rainbow. :f_red:f_red:f_red Wishing you a bouquet of peace and try to get some rest.......... Linda and Nike

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I'm so sorry you lost your precious girl. I was crying when I read your post because I am going through the same feelings. I lost my heart dog, my Nick, on Monday, and it feels like everything in the world has shifted out of focus. All those little things that we took for granted seem enormous in their absence. I have trouble feeding the other 3 Greys, and a former foster dog we're boarding, because Nick's bowl was always on the end. I can see him as he went into his crate to wait to be fed. I haven't told anyone this, but I actually put an empty bowl on the table, just to ease me through this awesome emptiness. I hold the door open for him as I'm letting the others out, and reach out to touch him, thinking he is still sleeping beside me. I think we are feeling their absence so deeply now that we feel alone inside our grief. But it also gave me hope to read the other messages, and know that we're not really alone. So many others understand. I've always told people that there is no time frame for grieving, and I hope I can listen to my own words, because I believe they are true. Do what you need to mourn for your girl, and gradually the pain eases. In time, you will cherish and celebrate your years together, and the love you shared.

Nancy

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Nancy, Mom to Evangelina, Kiva and Laila
Missing Lacey, Patsy, Buster, my heart dog Nick, Winnie, Pollyanna, Tess, my precious Lydia, Calvin Lee, and kitties Lily, Sam and Simon
My Etsy shop: http://www.etsy.com/shop/Catsburgandhoundtown

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