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At The End Of The World


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It has been 4.5 years since my Cooper, my heart hound, went to the Bridge: almost 5 years since we lost Lucky, 8 years since we lost Heidi, 4 years since we lost Dustin, and 1.5 years since we lost Stretch. I've written two, maybe three, poems for Cooper. I still find it hard to write things for him, but it's almost as if I could still reach out and touch the grief. So, I find myself posting this poem: I wrote it this morning. If it helps just one other person, just a little, it has done its job.


At the End of the World


It feels like my world has ended:

Stopped spinning, standing so still.

They tell me my heart will be mended,

But I'm not so sure that it will...


It feels like my life is a desert:

Dry and barren and shimmering with heat.

The loss that I suffered, unmeasured,

Flows like water, just out of my reach.


It feels like I'll never know laughter

Without bearing the guilt for my smiles.

Today, and in all the days after,

I only seek peace, not denial.


I could never forget the sweet pleasure

Of my hands passing over your head:

Like velvet, but now and forever

I hold tight to the memories instead.


In this house, even shadows remind me

And I sleep where your warm form once curled,

With your collar and blanket beside me:

Yes, tonight it's the end of the world.


The only saving grace I see,

Which helps to guide me through:

Is the fact that you belonged to me

And I belonged to you.


© 2006 M.E. Holderbaum

Meri & the Dorg
with Little Lee from Eetaly (Raider Retire), Freya FooFoo (Writers Block), Brodie (never raced), and "foster" JJ (Rossmore Judith). Missing Bravo, Chickie, Nico, Meri Carol, Lucky II, Ringo, Mylie, Bull, Geordie, Shae-Leigh, Stretch, Dustin, Cooper, Lucky, and Heidi.

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Guest how888
:cry1 Your poem was so very beautiful. Just believe they are only a rainbow away. There are days when we can't get by and other days when we know we just have too. Know we are all here for support. I get by thinking of them over that rainbow waiting for our one big meet n greet.
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Guest jettcricket

That is beautiful....you are very talented. Thank you for sharing you inner most feelings about your losses with us. I can sure relate to your words. :grouphug

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Guest Greybecca

Very nice, it spoke of how I feel over the loss of my dear Checker just March 14th of this year. Thank you for that.

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