Therapy

[floydieboy]

I am very glad this forum was added. I just couldn't get back onto GT and look at all the happy posts. But GT took up such a huge part of my day. I would be on the computer and Floyd would lay next to me on his couch. Not only do I have the void where Floyd was but a void where I used to use GT!!! Then, I quit the alley cats thing, so I have too much free time now. Geesh, it is feast or famine... Anyway, a special person reached out to me and told me about a Yahoo group called circle of greys and it is a site that offers support for those of you coping with ill dogs or a bereavement of a dog. That is what gave me the idea to put another forum onto this board. Thank you GT Admin.

 

Three things that have helped me through this devastation are: 1. I had a major pity party... 2. support from family, friends and cyber friends and 3. was talking to a animal communicator.

 

It is now Monday and I survived going back to work. The morning was very hard. I had no energy and I felt terrible. I have't really eaten in a week, so I had to start that again. I am feeling stronger both physically and emotionally. DH, is trying to cope. He is feeling differently than me. He wants to wait to get another dog and I don't. I am trying to see if we can get two! Then I won't have guilt about working and one dog being alone (well we have 4 cats to entertain them).

 

Anyway, thank you everyone for your loving support. I miss reading about you. But I am still not ready to read each and every post.

[HJsM]

Take your time, Janet. You may not feel good for a while and there's nothing wrong with that. But do try to take care of yourself by eating, resting, and getting fresh air. Even now, 7 months later, I have a good cry every now and then. Suppose I always will. Grief works itself out..but it takes lots of TIME.

[Houndmom]

You both need to talk together about the topic of another grey, or two, so you can work through this and make the right decisions. You will know when you are ready to add a new member to the family. Everyone has a different way of grieving and finding resolution. I never thought I would be able to adopt immediately but we did. For my husband, who lost his heart dog last year, an immediate adoption gave him a new companion to care for and comfort him. For me it turned out to be the same answer. Willow helped me find peace in the loss of Darwin, my heart dog, and made life much easier to cope with. (It's almost scary in the similarities between her personality and Darwin's) We also had the satisfaction of knowing that even though one door closed, another opened for us to help make a difference. We will never forget the ones that passed and always remember to enjoy the ones we have now. Best wishes to you both. May another greyhound, or two, find their way into your lives to give you comfort.

[Guest Iberia's Mom]

After my DH's cat (I call her his; because he formed a pretty close bond with her after she was dumped here, pregnant, by some not-so-nice person) was killed by a car he has distanced himself from the rest of the animals; it almost seems like he is afraid to love them too much in case something happens to one of them. Even the one kitten we kept from his kittie's litter, he is not bonded to. I know he loves the greys and the cats and my dear old cockatiel; he just does not like to admit it to himself. How do you help a person get over a loss and help them learn to love a new pet? Any advice?

[Forevermybabies]

We also adopted within two weeks of Joe's death in August 2001. I didn't think I was ready, and was just buried in grief, but Angel really was an important factor in me being able to begin healing. And since then, we've redoubled our dedication to these great dogs, and life has never been the same. We got Festus just two weeks after Angel, and he's been the most amazing dog ever, and now Sunscreen Man takes us to our doggie limit.

 

Fate has a strange way of bringing you what you need when you need it most.

 

I know that you are hurting, and part of you will always hurt, but you are moving forward, and some days will be better than others. Sometimes you will be able to talk about it without tears, and sometimes you won't. Hugs to you, your husband and all the kitties.

[floydieboy]

Iberia's mom,

I think it takes time to love again. When I lost my first dog, I could never imagined getting another dog. My boyfriend at the time did, and it did help. Maybe traditional therapy would help him as well. Talk to him, how long has it been since kitty has been gone? Tell him that animals as well as humans thrive on love.

I really think in time he will come around...

[MilliesMom]

My sincerest condolences.

The picture under my name is of our dog, Millie, who we had to put to sleep 8/19. We're still devastated.

I've buried six dogs and six cats, and it never gets easier.

Have you discovered www.petloss.com? There is a Monday night Bridge ceremony around the world. There are over 62,000 names in the database. You also can add a tribute to your pet.

Saying a prayer for Millie every week and all the ones who went before them (as well as those who are ill or wandering or abused) helps me. I still have a good cry.

Take care.

[Guest Iberia's Mom]

Thanks Janet...

It has been about six months since DH's little Mama Kit was killed. He seems to have begun to get close to my very old kitty again; they have always been pals. I know in time will get over her loss.

[floydieboy]

Oh Millie's mom, that is so nice...... I had not heard of that. I will check it out tonight. I find it so hard to even look at my username and Floyd's avatar. I thought about changing it but I don't want to act too impulsively.....

 

I am sorry about Millie. Really, I know noting I can say will make it hurt less so I will send hugs your way ((((()))))).

[ripley488]

After having lost 4 of my own Greyhounds - and helping far too many adopters with the loss of theirs - I can tell you their is no right way to grieve and no proper length of time to wait to add a new pet. Each person is different and everyone deals with the situation differently.

 

When I lost my first Greyhound - my heart dog -I had 3 other Greys at home and an Italian. If I had not had them to go home to that day I don't think I would have made it. Just knowing I had someone else to focus on and help made it easier for me. They went through a grieving process as well and being there for them was important. I wasn't alone in my sadness.

 

At the time I felt that was it - no more for me. We would bring in beautiful dogs that all needed homes, but not for me. I wanted him back and if I couldn't have him then I didn't want anyone. About 6 months after his death I was on the phone with a breeder we were working with to get 7 dogs. In the process of the conversation she mentioned a stud dog she had and the hair on my neck stood up. I said tell me about him and she said he was not available. I didn't know him name, his color or anything but I knew he was suppose to be mine. For the next several weeks I pushed and finally about 2 months later she said I could have him. She had found his owner in Florida and pushed him to release the dog to adoption. On my birthday he came to Kentucky and to his new home.

 

Ironically enough I lost him 10 months later to the same disease - osteo - in the same location that look my first Greyhound. But, in that 10 months he had a home to live in, a nice soft bed and toys which he loved.

 

Each time that is how it has happened for me. I never go looking for a new dog, one just seems to find there way to me. Sometimes you just click with a dog and they are meant to be yours. If I had been actively looking for a new pet I don't know that I would have chosen the ones I have. I know in my heart though that they were suppose to be mine. I even had one who adopted me - much to her fosters amazement (but that is another story.)

 

I have had adopters that want one the very next day, some that want time to adjust to the loss and a small number who choose not to get another pet.

 

If someone would have told me that by 2002 I would have had 7 Greyhounds, 2 Italian Greyhounds and a Borzoi come through my home I would have told them they were nuts. All 10 of them were special and were meant to be a part of my life. I don't regret having any of them and feel fortunate to have had them in my life. In the end, it is worth the pain of losing them to just be able to share them for a short while.

 

Sorry this is so long. Pet loss is something very dear to me.

 

Jennifer Watkins

Shamrock Greyhound Placement

Louisville, KY

[Houndmom]

Jennifer,

 

You are so right when you say that you didn't go looking for another dog after a loss, but just knew when one came along and it was right. Merlin was a very spooky, shy guy who had been in a foster home for 10 months. I had met him before Ginger died but didn't really make the connection because he was kind of kept away from everyone. After Ginger passed away, Merlin's foster parents said they needed to move him out of the house and did I want to come meet him. Reluctantly I did and it was funny that I made the connection with him immediately. They said he was very shy and wouldn't come up to me but he did. We adopted him a week later and he is my husband's beloved little boy. When Darwin passed 6 weeks later I didn't know what to do and wasn't thinking about another dog. Less than a month later I was at the track kennel selecting dogs and this little black female came up to the front of the crate as I walked by. I felt something strange and walked back to her. When I did she tried to give me licks through the wire. She watched me constantly while I was there and when I came near her crate she did the same thing. If someone else walked by she did not react. A half hour later she was tagged to go to the vet's with my adoption following that. She has been my baby ever since and in many ways she is like Darwin. It is strange how these things happen and how they change your life. After the loss of 3 dogs and the cat last year and the new adoptions, I truly believe in the special connection we have with our pets.

[Guest brandihernandez]

Janet

 

I have been thinking a lot about you and Floyd and how wonderful his last year of like must have been with you. I cannot imagine how hard this must be for you, and I hope that when the time comes for me to understand (as sadly, that day will come) I can hold on as well as you seem to be.

I believe that Floyd was loved by an extraordinary person. Someone who treated him and loved him unconditionally. I know this from your posts.

You have helped me realize it can end very quickly, to savor every moment. Just last night I sent Keeper to time-out for a minor indescretion and I happened to think of Floyd, and went and hugged and loved on him.

I cannot tell you when the best time to get another would be, that is for you to decide, but I know that you will show it(or them) all of the love you have shown Floyd.

 

Candle lit for Floyd.

[Guest KelliO]

Janet I'm so sorry. We all grieved along with you when we heard about Floyd.

 

If you are up to it you can check out the Greyhound Memorial Park. Although you may want to prepare to have a good cry.

[bjnno1]

Wow, this is the first post I've read on this new thread, I'm so glad you guys put this out here.

 

I know we all share our fun stories of our pets and a recipe here and there and some funny jokes and pictures, but when someone on the board loses their furkid, it touches us all. We all feel the grief to some extent of what you are going through and it's good to know that others out there care about you.

 

You guys are like family to me, it's weird because sometimes I feel closer to you all then I do my own Family. Don't get me wrong I love my family, but they don't understand my love for my animals like you guys do, and all of you get it. We all "GET IT" here!! that's why I love this place and that's why I'm so glad they put this forum out here for you to post and still keep in touch until you are ready to go back to all the other forums. Your like a sister (cyber sis-ta) hee hee to me.

 

I am so shy and introverted and here I just met you for the very first time (Live and in person) a couple weeks ago, we were in the car together for a couple hours and spent the day together like old friends, now who else could do that??? and When I went to Houston and met everyone for dinner, sure I was a little nervous, but I was more anxious/excited to meet everyone unstead of nervous, but it's because we are all so much alike, and when one of us hurts, we all hurt.

 

sorry I'm going on and on, but I'm just trying to get the point across here that we all click and connect somehow and it's good to know that we are all here for each other for good times and bad times.

 

Hang in there!!

[floydieboy]

Bj,

I echo your sentiments. I feel quite close to folks on the board here as well. It was so hard to get back onto the board. But I missed it so much! I can now read some of the m ore generic posts.

You are right, people here get the fact that we will go to the ends of the earth for our babies and don't give us a bit a grief for it!

Maybe we could have a GT gathering somewhere someday! It has been so wonderful to meet other GT'ers, live in person. I really felt like I already knew Kelly (lovin'greys), BJ (bjnno1) and Shelby. You guys are very good friends and ones that I hope I will know for a long time (we move a lot).

 

Thanks for posting your heartfelt feelings!

[Mystella]

Janet I know there isnt anything we can say that will take away the pain you are feeling, but I hope it helps a little bit to know that we are thinking about you. Because of all your great posts I think we all felt like we knew Floyd and all miss him. When you feel ready to participate in posts again we will still be here for you. Lotsa luv, Carolyn.

[bjnno1]

I went back and re-read this post today. Poor Janet and Elliott have been through so much in the past year.

 

I hope Floydie Boy up in heaven is looking after them I'm sure he is!!!