I Am Not Getting Shazam's Ashes Back

[Guest Angie626]

I cannot stop crying. DH told me that the vet hospital called tonight and said that Shazam's body was sent to oncology, or pathology or something like that, and from there something got messed up and she was just cremated in mass with all of the other animals.

 

I really don't know how much more I can handle.

 

I wasn't there for her when she died...I didn't get to make the choice to send her to the bridge. She died alone, in a hospital. The only thing I could do was to bring her remains home to rest here with her family and now I can't even do that. That was supposed to be my closure. How am I supposed to move on when the one thing I was waiting for isn't going to happen now.

 

I have nothing...nothing to talk to, nothing to look at, nothing to remember her by.

Edited March 15, 2006 by Angie626

[Guest DogGone]

I am so sorry - but you do have something. It may not be tangible, but I can feel the love you have and I know you have a million memories. And nobody can take that away from you. Hold onto that. Shazam knows you loved her.

[Bevd]

You have her in your heart and thats the only thing that really matters

 

I'm sorry that there's been a a mix up but you know...the ashes are just the remains of what I call 'the furry covering'. The soul never ever leaves you and thats the bit thats the most important

[Guest argolola]

I'm so sorry. That is terrible.

 

I have an idea of something that might help you and this is based on personal experience. When my daughter died, we bought a small plot and she was buried in the baby section of the cemetery. When my son died due to miscarriage, 3 years before, he was taken for analysis and there was nothing returned to bury. I felt horrible. We bought the plot next to my daughter's and had a marker made with his name on it.

 

Perhaps you could have something made with Shazam's name on it and make a little memorial either in your yard or in part of your home. You could even decorate a box and put some of her things in it, and have photos displayed, etc.

 

The others are right, she will live in your heart forever, and you will be together again. Please try not to beat yourself up. You were a wonderful mother to Shazam. May God bless you and dry your tears.

Edited March 11, 2006 by argolola

[Guest FullMetalFrank]

I did not bring Iberia home when he died; and it has haunted me ever since; I was so distraught and I did not make the arrangements. I wish I could have him here with me, but it's the memories that mean the most, in the long run. I have pictures; I have his collar that they handed me after he passed away. I have long intended to plant a special tree in his honor but I have yet to find one, I want a fig tree for him.

 

I know how it hurts but she is still with you, please remember that.

[Guest greybookends]

[Batmom]

{{{{{{{{{{Angie}}}}}}}}}}

 

She is there, in your heart, in your soul, in all the things she taught you, all the love you gave her, all the little things you shared while she was here. You have her memories and her picture in your mind's eye. You have her essence, bound up with yours.

 

I know that isn't all you needed. I hope it will come to feel right to you.

[Guest Gogh4It]

I know this probably won't help, but maybe it will. I did not have a place to bury Brogan when he died. I had to leave him at the vet. All I had was his collar, tag & his bowl.

I took those items & my sister buried them in Bool's grave out at her horse farm.

It broke my heart because all I could do was cup his face, tell him I was sorry & then hold his paw as he drifted off & trotted over the bridge.

I know he's always in my heart.

[Guest Aggie94]

[ShanakilMagic]

[Guest phoenixrizn]

[Guest DeVon]

You have her in your heart and thats the only thing that really matters

 

I'm sorry that there's been a a mix up but you know...the ashes are just the remains of what I call 'the furry covering'. The soul never ever leaves you and thats the bit thats the most important

 

I couldn't agree more. I didn't find out till years after I had had my first dog, my small terrier mix cremated, that the vet who did it was doing mass cremations and all I got was a box of ashes from who knows what dogs? I just cherish the memories, and that gives me comfort. I'm sorry, Angie :grouphug

[patricia]

Always in our hearts...no matter what.

[greysandmollie]

I am so sorry....that is a lot to bear since I know how you lost her was so tragic!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Hugs....

[lovemydogs]

Oh my goodness, Angie. I am so absolutely heart-broken for you.

 

Though I am not looking forward to the day they call to tell me to come and pick up Chaos, I know that if that day did not come I would be absolutely devastated. I think bringing them home is just a part of the grieving process, and when things happened so drastically, I can imagine you really needed her to be home to be at peace.

 

However, it is an unfortunate accident, and at least they did tell you of their mistake instead of just passing of Joe Schmo's kitty as your precious girl.

 

Instead of having her ashes, why don't you just collect up some important things of hers and put them together in a memorial. I am having a portrait painter (www.lachri.com) paint a portrait in oil on canvas of Paul and Chaos together, to give to him for his 30th birthday.

 

And, we received an azalea in her memory from Paul's mom and dad. We were going to get a friend to paint her beautiful face on the pot we would plant it in, but we decided to get her to paint a pot for the plant by the aquarium that Chaos would stand under to scratch her back. They are all simple things that are helping us cope.

 

Again, with everything so fresh, and things surrounding your beautiful girls death, I can only imagine your heartache. But please know that while her ashes are not with you, your Angel Shazam is still with you in your heart an mind, and she always will be. I hope in time you will be able to take some comfort in that.

 

Big hugs heading your way. If you need to talk, blubber etc, PM me and I'll send you my number. We'll likely blubber together.

 

[HooversMom]

I am so sorry. It's only been 2 weeks since my beloved Ali passed in a sudden, tragic accident, and I feel very lost too. It costs 900 dollars to cremate a horse, so I don't have any ashes either. I do, however, have his things, his pictures, and his image in my heart forever. I took some tail hairs, a sprig of fresh sage, and a little stone I found that is shaped like a buffalo (buffaloes are Zuni totems for safe journeys) and put them in a pretty box. I took the box to the top of a hill in the place where Ali was born, and buried it. Almost immediately I felt better, like he'd found his way home.

 

It has been of comfort in the past to plant a rose bush for each of my bridge babies, and bury some of their hair or belongings under it. This year I will have to plant two, and it's breaking my heart. But as hard as it is right now, I know time will heal the pain, and I know that my babies are whole, happy, and alive in spirit. I know the important part of them will never die.

 

Talk to her anyway. I promise she will hear you.

 

Believe me, I know how raw and hopeless your poor heart feels right now. I'm in that same leaky, miserable old boat.

Please feel free to PM me if you need to cry, rant, scream, or whatever.

 

God bless,

 

Carrie

Edited March 11, 2006 by HooversMom

[kjw]

That's a rough break, but I think the other posters are right, it's your love and memories that will help you through this horrible time. I do have Cody's ashes, but they are just a symbol, and sometimes that symbol makes me think of his death, rather than his life.

 

I have been working on an area of the garden where his favorite spot to lie down was. I add special things each year, and I call it Cody's corner. When I look at that spot, I can just see him, trying to dig up the tree roots, or going over and pooping on a bush (he loved making poop bushes!). Cody's corner makes me think of the beautiful pupper that we had, and the love than shone out of his eyes, and the great times we had with him.

 

It helps with the grief, I stongly recommend working on something that will help you remember your love and the good times, not her death.

 

I am so sorry for you loss; and my heart is breaking for you.

[Burpdog]

I am shocked and very sad

 

Take something of hers you have--a stuffy, a coat, a collar--something or several things, and put it in a box and put the box where ever you would have put her ashes.

[Jiffer]

I'm sorry Angie!

 

I hope you can find some way to honor Shazam that will help bring you closure.

 

She loved you, no matter what.

[SAVED2]

I know your grief , this helps us just think who is petting your baby now.

Dan

[Guest Rayne]

I am so sorry...I know this is devistating...and I love some of the suggestions on remembering her...but the most important is her soul will always be with you !!

[grey14me]

Oh Angie, I am so sorry ...I would be very upset as well, and honestly, I would think about some kind of reimbursement...not only on the price of the cremation, but perhaps the pathology fees, since they are the ones that made the mistake. I don't think some people realize how much it means to have your baby back home. When I went to pick up my Bailey's ashes, I realized when I got home, and opened the letter that came with her...that I was given the wrong Bailey! I was so upset that I couldn't go back and get her, I had to get my dh to do it for me...and I also felt so bad for that Bailey's parents who, when they came to pick him up...got an already opened letter.

[Guest Angie626]

Thanks so much for the kind words everyone. It stinks that so many of us are in such a sad state right now. Too many babies lost......

 

I wish the weather was nice because I want to plant a little flower bed and make a memorial garden for Shazam. When we had both Shazam and DH's dog Murphy, we got one of those stepping stones and put both of their paw prints in it. I want to put that stone as the center and plant lots of beautiful flowers around it. That will have to be my closure...that's all I can do.

 

So hurry up sunshine and warm this place up! I need to get my garden going.

 

Thanks again everyone for you thoughts and suggestions.

[Guest TBSFlame]

I'm so sorry. That is terrible.

 

 

Perhaps you could have something made with Shazam's name on it and make a little memorial either in your yard or in part of your home. You could even decorate a box and put some of her things in it, and have photos displayed, etc.

 

The others are right, she will live in your heart forever, and you will be together again. Please try not to beat yourself up. You were a wonderful mother to Shazam. May God bless you and dry your tears.

 

This is a great idea and a way to remember Shazam. I am so sorry you are going through this.

[Guest Peanut]

I completely understand where you are at with this... Similar things happened with Snickers died 4 yrs ago. We didn't have ashes to bring home... So, I bought a large greyhound statue and have it sitting on our front step. The statue could be painted to look like your greyhound, but we choose not to do that. On the statue is Snickers' collar and a new ID tag that gave her birth date and death date and heart warming statement. I got a heart shaped ID tag... Snickers is always with us in our hearts and greets all that come to our home.

 

Hugs and prayers for you and a few greyhound puppy kisses, too.