I know what your mum means AndiPants! Dat's why ours house is juss a mess eben doh she feels like she is constantly tidying up. It's eggsausting watching her go back and forf! Plus also dareare too peepuls libbing heer BUTT won ob dem is a slob hoo duzn't no how to adult and hoo will lidrally take da lass cookie and leeb da empty tray on da counter insted ob taking free steps to put it in da recycling.
Witch brings me to how enbiuss (in a gud way) she is ob Miss Susan! Furst, sheeze bery glad fur yoo, Miss Susan! Fur menny yeers yoo toiled in a boring job dat wuz way below yur skill lebbel, and den yoo habbed all dem awful yeers watching yur dad shrivel to a pale image ob wut he used to be, and yur mudder suffer wiff her Lewy's palsy, and all da rest. Plus it takes bravery to up and moob won's hole life sumwhere noo and so diffrint! So as faaah as weeze concerned, yoo'be erned it!! Mummy wood gib annyfing KNOT to hab to werk, or at leest KNOT full time, and still be able to hab her own house sumware green and priddy ware she can lib on her own. Sigh. Insted da finances is such dat she habs to lib wiff unkle Nick and sum days she's fine wiff it - at leest he's a nown quantity and she duzn't hab to open da refridgemarator and see ded corpses or animamal secreeshins, and dey generally get along apart from da slob fing, mossly by eech doing dare own fing), BUTT sum daze she juss witches moor dan anyfing dat she habbed her own place fur juss me and her, and cood be finanshuly independent. Da only way it's going to happen, she finks, is iffen she moobs back to Europe, so it is sumfink she may reconsider siriussly after I hab left her... it's juss too eggspensive to lib heer, yes eeben in Maine, where jobs don't pay much, plus it's cultrally isolated. She can deel wiff da cold (doh she duzn't like it, obviussly), BUTT KNOT da heet, so she culdn't moob to da souff ware it's moor affordable, plus eben doh sheeze herd it's bewtimuss, she doesn't fink she wood fit in. Plus SNAKES! And Spy dahs!! And mozzies yeer round!!
It's all da same to me. I yam tode dat I yam kewt wherebber I go! Speeking ob witch! It's all been bery boring around heer lately, butt Mummy did take me fur a caaah ride in me Hounda erleir! She tooked me to won ob me faybritt places, da pet stoor. I like it dare because I get LODES ob pets and lubbins, and admirayshin, and complimints, and FREE BISKIES, and attenshin frum all da hoomans, boff da wons hoo werk dare and da wons hoo bizit to buy fings. Mummy didn't reely need anyfink frum da stoor BUTT she nos I like it dare so she tooked me dare fur a treet. Well, I made da most ob it, lemme tell yoo! I wagged me tale, I walked up to peepuls, and made beeg eyes at dem, and leened on dem, and gabe dem kisses on dare hands wedder dey wanted dem or KNOT, and generally enjoyed me slutty self (as mummy put it) trememdussly.
Charlie and Zorro and Cap'n Jack! Wut a horrible traummatikal eggsperience!! Yoo wuz so brave! I wooda prolly rushed to hide sumware! And Ms Cynthia sabed yoo!
Mam, glad da ice storm is ober. I feel yoo about da weerd temprachurs an' stuff. I don't remember da lass time our sump pump shubbed out so much water in Janooary! It's 45 petigrees faaahtinheit tooday...bery warm fur Maine in Janooary.
Happy belated gotcha day to Chancey!